Malfoy's Dilemma
by Forever Your Girl
Summary: Malfoy has got a proposition for Granger. Will she accept? Does she do it willingly? Will she do it at all? and what in the world does his mother have to do with this! Find out! Read and Review!The prologue is a bit short, but it gets to the point.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

I circled her as if she was pray. "Mudblood." I sneered at her finally coming to a stop.

"Malfoy." She acknowledged me.

"Don't foul my name by speaking it with your filthy mouth. You will address me as 'sir', 'master', or if your lucky 'highness'. Never address me by my surname or even my real name unless you plan on being tortured.

"Fine… _sir_." She mocked me… that won't do.

"Watch it mudblood, I don't want to damage that almost pretty face." Shouldn't have even gone as far as calling it pretty. It's hideous.

"M- What do you want with me?"

"You, my little mudblood are going to be my girlfriend."


	2. Punishing You

**Previously on MD:**

"You, my little mudblood are going to be my girlfriend."

**Chapter One: Punishing You**

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"In your fucking dreams, wait no, not even in them."

"Careful, someone might hear you. Wouldn't want perfect Head Girl to be getting caught up in the Slytherin dormitories late at night, and only in her night clothes." Who would want to see her is beyond me, but that's just me.

"Now, I'm sure you wondering why I want you to be my girlfriend."

"That's the understatement of the year." She mumbled under her breath.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"That's what I thought mudblood."

"You get distracted easily."

"What?"

"You were about to tell me why you want me to be your girlfriend."

"Oh right, if you hadn't changed the sub-"

"Your doing it again."

"Shut up mudblood."

"As you were saying?"

"Err… right. For some reason my mother planned this stupid meeting with a bunch of people and apparently I need a muggle date."

"I'm a witch, not a muggle. And what is the big bad pureblooded death eater doing that he needs a muggle date. Hmm?"

"It's to prove I'm not a bad person to the ministry."

"But I'm not a muggle." Still on that are we…

"You're a mudblood, which makes it better."

"How so?"

"Well you're part of the Golden Trio, Harry Potter's little friend. My arch nemesis. Making you more valuable to me than any old muggle."

"Malfoy, I think you have honestly lost it. Completely and totally gone insane. Why the hell would I want to go with _you_ of all people? The one person who has tortured me throughout the last six years. "

She's got me. I have no good reasons well, good reasons for her at least. To any other sane person they would be a great thing indeed.

The hottest Malfoy in Azkaban (who would want to see my hott ass writhing away to look disgusting because of the dementors who would be sucking out all my good memories… leaving me with the bad memories of my father taking candy away from me and loosing to Potter in quidditch.)

1. No one would be left with the guts to torture Granger.

2. House unity could finally happen… I shudder to even think of a future Slytherin _conversing_ with a Gryffindor.

3. The Dream Team would take over the school. This would make even the founding four turn in their graves.

4. Those alone should be enough reason for anybody.

"You would want to go with me because…" What kind of dirt do I have on her? Nothing, think Draco think! -Thinks deeply- I've got it! "I know where you hide your diary and whose name you moan in your sleep. If you are actually sleeping. I happen to think that-"

"No!"

"No?"

"No, you have no idea where I hide my diary and I don't moan anyone's name… when… I don't moan anyone's name!" She said with a slight blush crawling up in her cheeks.

"You know that, and I know that, but nobody else does."

"I don't care Malfoy! I'm not going to do it."

"I told you not to call me by my surname! I let you get away with it the last time because you were ranting. But this time, I'm going to have to do something."

I ought to think before I say those things, I've got no idea what to do to her as a punishment! I could punish her sexually, but that would mean dirtying myself with her mudblood self. Ahh… well, I've got soap, and I'm a wizard, I know of cleaning spells.

"_Scurgify_" I muttered while pointing my wand at her neck.

"Mal- what are you doing?"

I leaned into her pressing my body near hers and whispered into her ear making her breath hitch.

"Punishing you…"

"What do you plan on… doing…?"

"A few things." I said quite seductively trying not to sound grossed out..

"They better not be against the rules," She bite her lip nervously, I'm amazed she doesn't have a permanent mark… maybe she knows a good and simple healing charm… I ought to ask sometime it would come in handy when I'm tired and accidentally stab myself in the eye attempting to run my fingers through my hair. It wouldn't happen if Potter would just back down on his quidditch team so I could on mine to-

"Or the law." She just had to go and disrupt my thoughtful ranting!

"Why? What would you do if it was mudblood?"

"I… Would…" I moved my lips away from her ear so I could do what I planned on doing.

"Go on mudblood, I'm curious as to what you would do."

"I would…" I had started my punishment. My teeth were currently embedded into Granger's neck, placing a nice mark. Or so I thought.

"Do you have a thought problem? You can't seem to finish that sentence… you would… what?" I had to momentarily stop my torture to taunt her, after all it's me. When has Draco Malfoy ever given up a chance to taunt The-Boy-Who-Lives-To-Mock-Me's little mudblood girlfriend.

"No!" She stammered, I had to stop making the mark on her neck to smirk, but only for a second.

"I would… I would tell Harry and Ron!" She choked out. It was completely redundant though. I've just finished the mark on her neck. Quite a beauty if you ask me. Large, purple, ugly, and best of all… noticeable.

"All done my little mudblood. You aren't going to be calling me by my name anymore are you?"

She just shook her head. I couldn't believe it. The Gryffindor Lioness now looks small and feeble. Someone should have done this long ago.

"Why do you keep calling me your little mudblood? I'm not yours, nor will I ever be." Oh and there goes the feebleness that I was so enjoying.

"Because _mudblood_. You are _going_ to be mine whether you like it or not."

"Do you think that just because you've placed this hideous mark on me, planning to blackmail, and humiliate me, I'm going to _help_ you?"

I thought about this a moment and replied:

"What do you think… _my little mudblood_?"


	3. Doing a Mudblood

**Doing the _Mudblood_?**

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"You are impossible aren't you?" She huffed

"Look mudblood, I would love to stay and continue calling you mudblood, but it's late enough that even if Snape catches me up I'm going to get a detention." I walked out of the Slytherin common room leaving her there but soon heard her quickly catch up to me. She wouldn't be able to get ought otherwise.

"Malf- Sir, why did you insist on meeting in here even though we could have met in our common room? "

"Because my little mudblood," I watched her cringe, she really did hate that. "I wanted to make sure you wouldn't be able to walk away."

"Understandable, but it was pointless, I will not be your girlfriend."

"Still on that are you mudblood?" Why won't she get off of that? Either she does or I make up a diary entry and spread it around school.

"I just figure that maybe it will go through your thick skull that I don't want to be your girlfriend."

I smirked at her comment. Like that was going to happen. The two of us walked in silence until we reached the portrait that led to our dormitories. We each stood there waiting for the other to say the password. Finally, sick of waiting, I said it:

"Madonna." (Apparently Dumbledore has a fascination with American pop singers)

"You going to go in? Or stand there while I freeze my poor arse off?"

"Shut up mudblood," I spat at her "I was distracted by your hair, really you ought to try and do something with it, shaving it of maybe. That way no one would have to look at it, actually it would be quite a blessing to most of us."

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She looked at me when she walked into the Great Hall for breakfast. She was thoroughly pissed off. I notice she's wearing the highest necked shirt she owns. Pleased with myself for knowing that she owned no turtlenecks and hated the people who wore their scarves around inside. How do I know this? I felt it necessary that I know what her style was, to make sure she didn't out do me. Of course the mudblood didn't. And for the scarf thing, I'd overheard her telling Potter and Weasel after a first few years wearing scarves passed by them.

Of course, as if she knew I was looking at another girl, Pansy came and sat next to me.

"Drakey?" Oh Merlin, I'm up forty-five minutes and I have to endure this.

"Pansy, how many times do I have to tell you? Never call me that." She looked depressed, oh darn.

"Well, you don't have to get mad at me," She huffed, depression over. "I wanted to know why you were looking at Potter's mudblood." I smirked evilly, if my smirk could even become more evil

"Because Pansy M'dear, last night something happened between Granger and I" She looked at me shocked with her mouth wide open.

"Malfoy! You're disgusting! You _did_ the _mudblood_?" My head snapped in her direction a look of horror coming across my face.

"What in Devil's name gave you that idea?"

"You said '…something happened between Granger and I' any person with a brain and an ounce of imagination would come to the same conclusion." Unfortunately before I could tell her right, the newly acquired bell system rang signaling that we students needed to head to our first class.

Oh joy for me, transfiguration with the Gryffindors. My schedule would be perfect if the first class wasn't with bloody Gryyfindorks.

Not moments after I walked into class had the bell rung. McGonagall yelled at me because I wasn't in my seat and said if I didn't hurry and get my rear in a chair she would be docking points. And they say Snape is prejudice. Honestly, docking points because they weren't sitting in their seats 'on time' is utterly mad. When I saw the Golden Trio snigger at me while the professor wasn't looking and in turn, I scowled at them. And of course got caught making that dirty face at the Trio. Now all of Slytherin is looking at me as if I was the bubonic plague. Although I wonder why wizards say that… Yah it's just a saying, but really, we have a cure for it. The plague was started to wipe out muggles. One of the first Dark attacks and in my opinion, the smartest. A few young death eaters feel that it's fun to make a new outbreak here and there.

"Mr. Malfoy." Although I wouldn't bother mentioning names.

"Mr. Malfoy!" But we know that about ninety-eight percent of Slytherin is evil and would do something like that to kill a few muggles.

"Mr. Malfoy!"

"I'm thinking, leave me be."

"Mr. Malfoy!!" I looked up from my desk that I had been currently staring at to see professor tall hat looking at me beat red in the face.

"Well, now that I finally have your attention, do you care to answer my question?" You interrupted me for this?

"You had a question?"

"Twenty points from Slytherin and yes I did have a question."

"Well, what was it?"

"Can you tell me why one might have trouble changing a pouch like so," She said holding up a ratty and tattered school bad. Wonder if it ever belonged to one of the Weasleys… "Into a large shaped animal, for example a hippogriff or lion?"

"Err, yes."

"Well then, do share with the rest of us."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the mudblood biting the nails on one hand while sitting on the other to keep from raising her hand. I smirked, this one she wouldn't get.

"Because professor, there may be objects inside it, such as a quill or piece of parchment that would result in odd characteristics of the creature you are trying to get. For example, an elephant may get paper like skin that tears easily if there was a piece of parchment inside of the bag."

"Excellent job Mr. Malfoy. Although another twenty points from Slytherin for not paying attention and fifteen points to Slytherin for answering correctly and giving more than asked for," Turning towards Granger she said, "and five points to Gryffindor for allowing Mr. Malfoy to answer without you interfering Ms. Granger."

I scowled at her as she was beaming ecstatically. I scribbled something on a parchment and handed it to her while Potty and Weasel were busy being yelled at by McGonagall for playing a heated game of tic-tac-toe during her class.

"Meet me in the common room before lunch." I heard her whisper. I smirked once again as I saw the befuddled look on her face.

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"Let's get this over with, I'm hungry. What do you want?"

"I see my mark is turning out lovely." I saw a crimson pink color rise in her cheeks.

"I hate it, why did you have to put it in a noticeable spot?" I smirked at her, shouldn't it have been obvious?

"Because Granger, it's meant to be seen. To get you in trouble with the two dunderheads you call friends."

"You're an evil git, you know that?"

"Thank you, now to the reason I called you here."

"I'm not going to be your girlfriend, how many times must I tell you this?"

"You _will_ be my girlfriend, whether you want to be or not."

"You can't force me."

"I don't plan on forcing you, I plan on easing you into it."

"Whatever Malfoy. There is no way in hell that I will _ever_ become your girlfriend. It's just that simple."

"You called me by my surname, my little mudblood, I'm going to have to do something about this."

"Like what? Leave another mark on my neck? Maybe on the other side, so the first one won't be lonely." I thought about it, I really dd. But I remembered last night trying to get clean. I'm shocked I still have epidermis attached to my body.

"No." The sneer I was sporting soon turned into a face that would put Voldemort's to shame it was so evil, "I'm going to do something so much worse, just not yet."

I left her there standing, completely perplexed.

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**Onto my lovely reviewers!**

**Dragons-Fires**: Thank you for the help. What do you mean by "stream line word flow"? I would appreciate it if you could explain it to me! I want to make my writing better and having positive help and people pointing specific things out. Oh, and your welcome. I shall be updating Like the Rain sometime… I'm a bit busy with school… over the vacation everything was okay but… now… I'm getting even more homework because Midterms are coming up! Bugger… Thank you for the review )

**Daniel'sGirl NowNForever**: Yes, I shouldn't have been so terribly harsh… and I feel awful now that I think about it (and I got another review from them… so I feel like scum) Anywho, I like Malfoy being beaten myself… just when I write slash it wouldn't be approved by this site… I'm actually an extremely morbid person… my boyfriend wishes I would change… and be like I used to be.. ::Shudder:: I don't think I could ever go back to listening to Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake… I am a hardcore Rob Zombie and Korn person!

**marmaladechicky**: Thank you for reviewing again. I am **_SO_** sorry I was so mean and rude… It just really hurt that someone didn't seem to like it. Your cake baking analogy was right on. You bake a good cake, and you give people one tiny little piece, they often come back begging for more. ) Please accept my apology for being such an arse (

**Gothhottie**: Bad boys… are fucking hot! Yay! Okay, sorry…thanks for reviewing)

**sugar n spice 522**: Yes mushy gets to me… hence the reason I _hate _my other story Like the Rain… to buggering mushy… ::dreads having to write the last chapter:: Thanks for reviewing, and please remember to review again! )


	4. Your Girlfriend

**Chapter Three: Your… Girlfriend**

"Oi! Hermione, where'd you get that ugly mark on your neck?"

Weasley was practically on top of her gaping at her neck. By golly, I think the rat pack finally found my handiwork.

"Err… bug bite Ron, nothing I can't take care of."

"That sure was some bug for it to leave a mark like that." Potter said curiously.

"Harry, really, how thick are you? You've been in the wizarding how long and still don't know that anything is possible with the bugs around here?"

"No, I'm just wondering how she got a bug bite that looks an awful lot like teeth."

"Oh, come off it Harry! Lots of bugs have teeth."

Potter raised his eyebrows skeptically.

"Name two." He said smugly knowing that he would win this fight.

"Pongers, Pandals, and Hamperzinies." Granger butted in knowing Weasel wouldn't be able to do it and getting herself out of the mess the Weasel got her into about her mark.

I had to smirk at this. Even though I was across the Great Hall I could hear every word of their bickering. I wanted to laugh because I knew that in a few hours time she wouldn't be able to get herself out of trouble.

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"Hermione, is it true?" That Lavender girl asked.

"You wanna 'connect the dots' with me?" Asked a Slytherin wiggling his eyebrows at her.

Hermione looked at him like he was out of his mind, he may have been. Who would want to let the mudblood touch him?

"Hermione! How could you do that with Harry?! He is mine!" She looked over at the Weaselette like she was out of her mind. She may has well be, dating The-Boy-Who-Just-Will-Not-Die-To-Spite-Me. Really, even _she_ could do better than him.

"What are you talking about Ginny? What is everyone talking about?! I want to know!" The Weasel girl looked at her skeptically, then handed her a flyer that everyone else seemed to be sporting. She raised her eyebrows curiously as she looked at it, "What's this?"

"Take a look and read it."

_Dear Diary,_

_Oh My God! Today was like, the best day ever! Like, Harry and I like, you know, got it, like, on. Do you wanna like, now how it like… happened? Of course you do! Well, if you like, promise to keep this a secret, I will like, tell you! How totally awesome is that! -Insert Girlish giggles here- Alright, here it comes! We played Connect the dots on each other's body. Harry of course went first, connected the freckle on my collar bone to the scar on my stomach above my belly button, to the freckle on the inside of my right thigh and then steered off course to, well… If I told you, you would hypothetically blush. Hehe. Then it was my turn to connect the dots, except like, well, I skipped the connecting part, and went straight for the little (and I mean little) wand in his boxer shorts and made it do 'magic'. Oh damn, I hear Lavender coming! Don't tell about my excursion with Harry ok?_

_-Hermione-_

_P.s. I get turned on by looking at my own body. I noticed it when Ginny said I looked god in the Library. -goofy smile-_

"That isn't my diary, I swear! Why would I want to play with Harry? He's yours!"

"Well, Granger I don't know, but for all I care, Harry and I are though and so are you and I."

I watched the little Weaselette disappear into the angry mob starting at Granger. It actually wasn't all angry. Some of them were horny guys wanting a bit of action from our new mudblood slut.. I've decided, she needs my two galleons.

"Mudblood." I nodded. Wow, even after being made into a slut people still don't want to call her mudblood… So many angry people… Gonna have to work on that a bit more…

"Malfoy, how could you-you slimy," I ought to let her continue, but if she gets in trouble with Snape who is walking up behind her, I may never get her. "Gi-" I placed my hand over her mouth we're both going to be paying for that later. My poor beautiful hand, marred by the dirty mudblood.

"Mr. Malfoy, please let Ms. Granger continue with what she was saying." I looked from Snape to Granger hoping to hell she would just not talk.

"What I was saying professor," No such luck. "Is that Malfoy is a slimy… Gryffindor!" Snape's eyebrows rose quite comically. "You see, he… he came over to see why I was hogging the attention from him, being the natural Slytherin he is, hence the 'slimy'. And he… _bravely_ fought through the crowd like only a true Gryffindor would do, hence the 'Gryffindor'." She smiled weekly and looked up to Snape hoping he may have gotten a bee in his ear to affect his hearing so he wouldn't question her. I myself, almost peed my pants.

Snape, seeing the condition I was in decided to take the attention off of us, so I could run to the nearest bathroom, bush, tree, whatever! Just as long I don't explode internally.

After he left Granger talked, she really wanted me to die didn't she? Can't she see I'm gonna _burst_.

"I hate you, I fucking hate you!" She screamed but instantly lowered her voice so only I could hear and hissed, "you good for nothing dick fucking, narcissistic, sadistic, masochistic, egotistical prat. I will get you back for everything you've ever done to me."

I am obviously not scared, she may be smart, wise, and cunning. But revenge wasn't her forte.

"You like it Granger? I felt it was you exactly, showing your girly side with the 'likes' but becoming more serious by not using them to tell the tale like only you would, then snapping back to girly." I said after deciding I wasn't worried about her plotting revenge. I could just make up a second diary entry to accompany the one I just created.

All I get in reply was a simple 'ugh' I believe she muttered a few colorful choice words that if McGonagall heard she would faint. But I don't care at the moment. If I wait another second I'm gonna piss my pants. Fuck! It hurts to run… walk fast Draco, walk fast.

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What I see before my eyes ought to be written down. Weasel is in the library, voluntarily! It seems he's arguing with everybody's favorite mudblood.

"Granger, how could you?" The look on her face was unforgettable.

"Ron, you too?" Yes, that was not me confronting her like that, it was the poor boy of the once Golden Trio.

"That's not a bug bite is it? That mark on your neck, it's form Harry, isn't it?" Ahh, the look of guilt that crossed her face was pure bliss, to me at least.

"Ron, it's not what it seems." (Whoa, freaky Swan Princess moment flash back.)

"So you don't deny it? You _cheated_ on George?" What?! No one told me she was with Someone! This is great, I love myself.

"I didn't… I didn't do anything with Harry! I _love_ George! I would never cheat on him with Harry!" She yelled that one quite loudly.

"So how the hell do you explain the flyer going around the school?"

Her eyes flashed over to me and unfortunately they are staying on me and oh great, now the Weasel is looking at me too!

"Malfoy? What's he got to do with this?" Granger holding back some serious built up anger at the Weasel responded:

"Are you Daft?! Malfoy hates everyone of us! By writing that he ruined my friendship with you, Harry, Ginny and all intellectuals, my relationship with George, your mother will hate me along with the rest of your family and defaced me all in one shot." Wow, that's a big list, too bad none of it was the truth.

"Oh."

"Oh? That's all you have to say for yourself?" Yah Weasel, you just insulted her! "Well?"

"Everything you said makes sense, but… where did that mark come from?" For once, I like you Weasel! Keep going with it!

"I…" Granger could only look down in shame.

"That's what I thought." The weasel spat angrily and stalked off.

I watched Granger crumple into a seat and decided she didn't need to be alone during this delicate time. I walked over to her and sat down at a chair plopping my feet on an unnaturally sized book.

"Enjoy the show?" She spoke first, amazing. I figured I would be forced to speak considering her 'delicate' position.

"Immensely." I smirked.

"Glad I could offer such wonderful entertainment." She said sarcastically. She was twirling a piece of hair in her fingers, slouched way down in the chair. I kinda wonder how her neck isn't snapping from being in that position… she's also lucky she wears her school skirt longer than most girls. If not I would be blessed with the not so wonderful site of Granger's knickers.

After a very long silence of about thirty seconds I felt I needed to break it.

"You didn't tell me you were dating a Weasel twin."

"Didn't feel you need to know, none of your business."

"I certainly think it is, for you to be my girlfriend you can't have a boyfriend that isn't me!"

"Malfoy, I didn't plan on being your girlfriend ever, I didn't have to tell you."

"What do you mean '…didn't plan on'?" Does this mean what I think it does?

"What it means is that I will be your… Girlfriend." I plan to ignore that grimace of disgust, "besides, what do you care?"

"I don't, just wanted to know why you gave in so easily." Damn! If I could do a jig, I would! I win! I fought the mudblood to the end!

Little did either of them know that someone over heard every bit of their conversation. They left as Draco and Hermione left the Library. Not together of course, it was bad enough they were sitting at the same table. Madam Pince would have to rope off the table and make it a historical monument. Pureblood and mudblood all at one table, talking almost civilly. And no hexes.

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1720 words! That I think is the most I've ever written! Yah! Go me!! Haha, sorry, but I'm proud of this chapter… It's not too bad. Do you guys think I need more humor? Also, a reviewer not saying who, contacted me and brought something of importance up. At least to me… They said I write like a boy but my name at the time (xxgummybearxx) was girly. So to clear up any confusion that anyone else has, I'm a…. GIRL! Haha, it's a lot more evident in my other story Like the Rain.

**Btw, I've got a poll!! I didn't know which pen name to choose so I closed my eyes and pointed (really I did) Do you like this one? (I'm Your Boogieman) or BlackSunshine? Choose and tell me in a review!! Also, a special surprise to anyone who can guess what these two things are and what/who they belong to!**

**Onto reviewers: **

**Dragon-Fires: I would love to take you up on that offer, except everytime I see you on the net, your away. (like you currently are) My AIM sn is: ElClaroDeLuna . Also, your e-mail didn't show up... bugger.. anyhow, mine is lollipop7132001 yahoo dot com (just put in a . where dot is) If you could go through my story and tell me what needs to be fixed or how I could make them sound better I would absolutely love it! If I could pay you, I would. Thanks so much!**

**GothHottie: That's what he did, I hope it was up to expectations. I couldn't quite get it out right.... nothing came out right in that, when I had my idea about it, it seemed so much better. **

**Marmalade Chicky: No problem. :) I'm just so glad you don't hate me. **

**Sugar n spice 522: They have now just said something. I think ya'll will find out more in the next chapter mayhap... I dunno just yet. **

**Black Rose, Black Heart: First off, kickass new pen name. And I SO know what you're saying about the boyfriend thing. My current one, 3 times now! Hes told me 'I wish you were different things would be so much easier' UGH! How am I supposed to feel? I really love this guy, I've never felt this way about anyone before and he just goes and has to be like that! oh! and he hates me so called 'freakness' I am not a freak!! I'm normal dammit! he HATES my bestfriend, who is like... I don't wanna use goth cause it's stereotyping her... but she the black lipstick, chains, spikes, ripped clothing, trench coat, type girl but I think she's normal... not a freak... anywho... I'm rambling. Did that thing with your mom really happen to you?**

**Blonde Brain: What an oxymoron there. No offense, I'm a blonde meself! (no offense, when I read your review it made me think of a little six year old with A.D.D it was cute! haha)**

**xOxOkIsSmYasSXoXo: Yes, impatientness sucks. Do you have an account? If you don't I can send you e-mails telling you when I update if you would like. **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! You really are an awesome bunch! Can I have enough reviews for a grand total of... 25? Just so you know, I'm not the type of person who won't review if I don't get them! I just like having reviewers tell me what I can do to make my story better or what they liked so I know that I'm not boring them or if I am boring them! Again, BIG THANKS!**


	5. Do I Have Too?

**Chapter Four: Do I _Have_ too? **

I saw Pansy and the girl Weasel exiting the library just before the mudblood and I. Weaselette stalking off angrily and Pansy sauntering over to me.

"Draco…" She said in a sugary voice that made me want to gag. But I'm a guy, I'll take anything.

"Pansy." I drawled her name out sexily, wrapping an arm around her hips. If she didn't have those blasted Hogwart's robes on I would have placed my hand in her back pocket. Not only is it sexy to her, but I get to cop a feel and not get yelled at. Ahh well, Can't win everything.

We walked down the hall in silence when Pansy asked me a question.

"Why was that flyer going around today the entry I put in my diary last week?"

"I needed to get back at Granger. I found your diary a few you ears back and I've continued to look at it since. That entry with Goyle looked good." I would have thought she'd be pissed at me, but she's not! She's grinning at me like a bloody Cheshire cat!

"So, you know about the fantasies I plan on acting out with you?" Oh Gods… How could I forget?

"Oh yes, the six-nining in a mugle dumpster behind a pizza place was interesting…" I've now remembered why I dislike being around this chick. I know what's going on in her head every time she looks at me.

"Ooh!" She squealed in my ear, "I _knew_ you would like that one!"

"Like… well… that's… another word for it…" She gave me this huge buggering grin. Why the _hell_ is she trying so hard?!

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I watched the window that the owls would be coming in like a hawk. I happen to have sent a letter to little Miss Mudblood. We've got important business to take care of.

Ahh, there they are right on time 8:45. Never a minute late are they? Wow, she's got a lot more mail than she normally does… Mine was delivered by an eagle, it should have stuck out, but no. She's got about twenty letters not including the four different news papers she subscribes to.

I turned back to my breakfast, looking glumly down at it. The elves were slacking… the food wasn't up to par at all. Whispers started filling the hall so naturally I looked up, there was Granger running out of the Great Hall with a few howlers, Potter following with a couple of his own.

Potter didn't make it very far when one exploded filing the hall with George Weasley's voice.

"_Harry, my chum, my buddy!_

_How the hell could you do that to me?! You _knew _I wanted to propose to Hermione after she got out of that place!! You fucking bastard!_

_You don't even have the nerve to tell me? I have to find out from at least four Slytherins and everyone sixth year and up in Gryffindor! Excluding of course, you! Hermione had the decency to mail me, but you? No had to stab me in the fucking back when I wasn't looking out for the woman that I love! What a friend you were Harry! Voldemort should just kill you and get it over with!_

_Bye mate,_

_Have fun with the girl._

_P.S. Don't _ever_ go near my sister _ever_ again you bloody fucking bastard."_

I think that there was a mad dash to the bathroom from most of the Slytherin's who were about to wet their pants from laughter. But I don't know. I had to go collect the mail Granger left behind so that she gets my letter.

"Granger!" I yelled running up the stairs carrying a stack of mail that increased to about fifty letters and another Howler. 

She whipped around standing in the doorway to her room. Which I must admit, isn't to badly decorated. A theme of muggle fantasy creatures and very influence by the Celtic ways.

"Sir?" Huh? Oh, whoa, total space out there.

"Your mail. It was littering the table. No need for the house elves to soil their hands picking up your filthy mudblood letters." Her face turned from the complete shock to so completely pissed off in so little time that she ought to be given a medal.

"Why you little no good, conniving son of a bit-" I covered her mouth with my hand… again! And it's the same bloody one as last time -shudder- bloody hell, shower tonight shall be painful. But anywho.

"Mudblood, I'd watch what you were saying to me if I were you. I've already let you get away with calling me 'Malfoy' while people are around. Don't get in the habit of it."

"Whatever." She said rolling her eyes and taking her mail from me before the howlers exploded.

Before I turned around and flashed a smirk at her, I turned and said something to her. 

"Look for a letter from me." She looked confused, but just shrugged and closed the door with her foot. I heard her placing a silencing charm around her room before the current count of five howlers exploded.

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Ten minutes later she appeared five minutes early to Potions. That was quite quick for going through howlers.

She walked over and took her seat by me. Unfortunately Dumbledore found it necessary for the two of us to sit together because the house unity he felt could use a little help, so he makes us sit together in the class with the most house rivalry. I think he's nutters personally. Any man with a fetish that includes American pop singers ought to be placed in the loony part of St. Mungos with Longbottom's parents.

"The howlers that short?" I asked curiously, I'm a Slytherin, I need to be in everyone's business. 

"No, just used a simple freezing charm. I needed to sort through the other stuff so I can go back and read them during lunch." She explained to me as if I should have known this.

"Gotcha." I replied back, not really caring, just hoping she put my letter in a priority pile.

"Class, take your seats," Severus snapped entering the classroom, "five points from Gryffindor, Longbottom. Now take your seat." Wow, Professor Vector must have turned him down again…

"Today we will be brewing a torturing spell," Snickers could be heard from the Slytherin side and looks of terror could be seen on the Gryffindor side, "it's not meant to torture people like most of you imbeciles must think. Can anyone tell me what this potion does?" He said pointing his wand at a chalkboard and a name appearing.

Granger's hand flew up at once, Severus, obviously ignoring her, walked by.

"Anyone?" He said raising an eyebrow, "Thomas, what is it?" The man was pure evil, this guy couldn't even turn a mouse into a pin cushion.

"I-I don't know sir." The boy stuttered, scared out of his wits.

"Fifteen points from Gryffindor for not knowing this simple potion." He said loving every look of disbelief the Gryffindors were giving him. The look especially from Granger, a look of pissed off disbelief. One would think Severus would tire of seeing it class after class. Sadistic bastard that one.

"Well, since no one can seem to answer my simple question, the potion, Revealful Torture, once brewed properly and administered, it will force the person it was given too, reveal what they would consider the worst possible torture. This of course means that what is heard in this room stays in this room. Understood?" After saying this he took the time to look at the testosterone due of Gryffindor and did a quick scan over all of the Slytherin students, including me. I'm hurt, I truly am.

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"Draco Fucking Malfoy," I would tell her she's gone too far, but seeing as how all but four eyes (Potter and Weasels) were on us, I couldn't really do anything. "What the _hell_ do you mean by this? Hmm? Meeting a few death eaters?! That wasn't in our agreement!" She was livid. Her cheeks burning red, hair even more poofy and frizzy as normal, waving what looks to be my letter in her hand above her head, ranting like a lunatic as you already know.

"Sweetie, calm down! It's just a few family friends!" I said giving her a look, trying to give off the impression of 'I'll explain it later, just go along with it now'.

"Well… if you say so then. I guess I will be off." She looked at me for approval, I nodded and looked to the doors of the Great Hall and back to her. She nodded in understandment and walked out. I, of course was forced to deal with the curious and phased on lookers.

"Well, what are you gawking at? Get back to lunch." I snapped. Waiting a few moments to look around. Then walked out of the Great Hall to talk to Granger.

"You ever call me 'sweetie' again, I castrate you with a rusty nail and glue!"

Guess what! I found her.

"Quite an imagination there Granger, care to tell me how that would work?" I asked sarcastically, knowing there was no way to do it.

"Well, first you cover the rusty nail in super glue," I wonder if she knew I was being facetious, "Then I shove it down your Vas Deferens." I stiffened.

"That's not right Granger! That's immoral!" I squeaked.

"And calling me 'sweetie' isn't?" She stated one eyebrow cocked with her hands on her hips. She looks like my mother when she gets ticked off…

"At least calling you 'sweetie' wouldn't cause a holocaust in the magical world like it would if I were castrated." I stated matter of factly.

"Why would you being castrated cause destruction of the magical community?" She asked, as if I wasn't important. The nerve of her.

"The world would cease to exist as we know it, (An: Mummy flashback) no more Malfoy heirs. One less pureblooded wizarding family. Leaving the world with only fifty-two"

"Oh Merlin forbid… one less pureblooded family." Alright, she's getting on my nerves…

"Granger, lets discuss what we came out here to discuss, shall we?" I asked and pointed down the hall to indicate I wanted to walk.

"Ok then, I'm not going to any death eater thing!" Too bad for her.

"Yes Granger, you are. You have to go. It's all part of being my girlfriend." I told her, smirking all the way down the hall we were walking.

"Well, being your girlfriend also gives me the right to turn you down without feeling bad, so no." Does it really work like that? I looked at a sixth year Ravenclaw who just nodded her head smugly… Huh… who knew?

"That's not fair!" It's not. It's Not. It's Not!!

"How is it not fair?" She asked me as she stopped dead in her tracks placing her hands on her hips and cocking an eyebrow. Again! My mum!

"Because… even the person from Ravenclaw agrees… and… she's a girl!" Ha! Take that!

"So? That means nothing! Besides, why do I have to meet him?" Uhh… duh! Isn't it a wee bit obvious?

"You've got to meet them because if they don't believe we are dating, then the ministry won't believe we are dating and I've gone good." And they say she's smart.

"They would kill me before they got the chance!" Well… we will figure out a way past that…

"And the ministry won't kill me?" Can't deny that I've got a point, now can you?

"No of course not, I'm one of the most powerful witches around even though I'm eighteen. They know I can take care of myself." She told me this as we were walking around a corner as if she were an Italian. Almost decapitated me about ten paces back!

"So you've got me there.. But still. You are going whether you like it or not." She stopped walking, her face contorted in thought, then finally slumping her shoulders.

"What will I wear?" D-does that mean she is accepting? Hot-Dawg!

"We can go shopping for some outfits in Hogsmeade." I think a low cut down to about four inches above the belly button… tie around the neck… black dress… some tie up the calf heels…

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**Wow! I broke 2052 words with this chapter! Go me!! Yay! Sorry it took me so long to update, I had a lot of homework to do and I had an OVA (Olympics of the Visual Arts) meeting which lasted from 1:00 to 7:00 on Saturday and then I went home with my friend Kayla! Who read the castrating bit and laughed histerically and did imitations of Draco and then of Hermione looking like his mum... Freak that one... oh Yes and then we went to her house and we played Pitch with her Step-dad, mom, her mom's friend Kathy and her husband Doug, lemme tell you, that bunch is great! but we played until about midnight, then got up about noonish... then ate some breakfast, played cards with her parents again w/o her parent's friends and then we sulked in her room cause we couldn't shop, then I got my period and was like sicker then a dog...and then she decided to dress me up like her! who knew I was hot? and then we played cards again.. then my dad picked me up... and then I had to change my plot around a bit so I could shorten this chapter up and just update it! So um... after that long bit of oh uh... nothing! here are the review responses!**

**Onto reviewers!!**

**Gothhottie:** Yah... Hermione didn't write that... but unfortunately because I'm telling this from Draco's point of view... Harry and Ron are blundering idiots!

**JADECOWAN:** Yah Draco is an ass... but it's how he is in the books... I'm trying not to take him too much occ, but I know Hermione is getting that way.

**Dragons-Fires:** I tried to keep descriptive words and details in this, but I think I got way to many details....

**Marmaladechicky:** where did you see my mistake? I went through it and couldn't find it.

**Black Rose, Black Heart:** Wow... that sucks... my mom hasn't died... but there was a period of my life where she wansn't even involved... she fucked up big time by saying she didn't wanna see me if I lied... ( I hadn't lied, she was just trying to make herself look good to some people and pissing my gram(her mom) and a few other of her relativesin the process) so I held her too it... didn't see her for over a year... and then stuf happened... like she would call and talk to my brother and then want to talk to me... and say something stupid and I woudl blow up at her and tell her how much I hated her and how she ruined my life (did really) my aunt says its pretty much amazing how normal I am mentally because of what I've been through because of that woman.

**xOxOkIsSmYaSsXoXo:** thanks for liking the fic, I will send e-mails... oh hey... you should have gotten one...

**TheManWhoLetTheBoyLive:** Glad you liked it.

**Sugar n Spice 522:** Glad you liked the last chapter.


	6. I'm Gonna Do It

Chapter 5: I'm Gonna Do It

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"Sir, what if Harry and Ron see us together?" She said looking around hoping she wouldn't be seen by anybody from Hogwarts.

"Granger, it's seven _o'clock_ in the morning, I doubt your dunderhead friends will be up at this time! I bet they won't even be up by 11:30." I said exasperatedly. This was about the twentieth complaint from her just in the last five minutes.

"M- ugh, _sir_, what shop are we going too? There isn't anything open this early in the morning." I stopped walking to look at her a second. It feels weird having her call me sir while out in public. But she won't call me Malfoy… only in school… Gah! That's my fault too! I gave her that bloody mark on her neck… Can I ever win with myself?

"Look, Granger… I know this will be hard, but call me Draco in public." I've got no idea what that look means, but I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to like it.

"You God Damned Fucking Asshole!! I'm onto you, you know! They don't call me the smartest witch to grace those cold bloody halls for no reason!" Whoa, what is she talking about? "It all makes sense now, Big Scary Draco Malfoy, all of a sudden needing a girlfriend. How _unusual_… why would he need a _muggle_? Oh of course… To 'please' the 'ministry', that's where I came in! Isn't it?! You didn't want me to be your girlfriend for your mum. Oh no, you just made up excuses!" I wonder when she will finish, I'm not sure how much longer I can hold this laughter. "You honestly like me, don't you? This mark on my neck, that wasn't you punishing me, it was you enjoying yourself, wasn't it?" She jabbed her finger into my chest staring me down, trying to intimidate me, "Wasn't It!" she screamed at me. Oh Merlin, I can't hold this in anymore, I've cracked… "What the hell is so funny?"

"_You_, think that I _like_ you?" Wheeze, "Did you ever think that we would pull off," Wheeze, "fooling death eaters and the ministry if you called me 'sir' all the time? Well, maybe the death eaters… but really not the ministry." I've stopped wheezing finally, now looking at her dumbfounded face. Brilliant I tell you, Brilliant!

"You never did tell me about that shop… Draco." Ugh, that sounds terrible coming from her lips.

"Well, it's about five minutes from here. If we could continue walking and not be standing about chit-chatting…"

"Won't it be closed? It is only 7:15 a.m. you know?" Who does she think she is shopping with? Weaselette?

"Do you not remember who and what I am? I can do and get anything I want because I'm a Malfoy." I'm really beginning to doubt the smartest with at Hogwarts bit…

"How am I supposed to afford that type of shop? My parents have money, but certainly not as much as your family does." Why do women always worry about money? Honestly, it's proper etiquette, I'm supposed to buy your dress.

"I've got it." The look on her face was great… oh… Merlin… she may bust a nerve or something valuable like that, "We're here!" I smirked at her bowing while holding my arm out. She stomped by me and walked up to the front door, not even taking the time to take in the beauty of this place. What a Gryffindor.

"The sign says it's closed…" Dear lord…

"Your point? Look at who you're with."

"But what if something bad happens?"

"Goodness Granger! I set up a meeting with the woman who owns this place! Just walk in."

I heard some grumbling that really sounded like 'f-in jerk off', 'good for nothing' and maybe even a 'Merlin he is hunky.' Okay, so maybe not that last… A guys gotta try right?

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"No! Not this! Absolutely not! I will not wear this butt ugly dress," She turned to face me, "Draco!"

I just smirked, this is wonderful.

"Miss Granger, if you could please refrain from insulting my personal designs, I would greatly appreciate it." Granger blushed a deep red.

"Sorry Ms. Harp, it's just that I don't really like it when a skirt comes above my knees." I silently shook my head knowing she had done it this time.

"Mr. Malfoy, if you could please tell your girlfriend that I am _the _hottest designer in town and get it through her thick skull, I would deeply be in your debt." Of course you would, if my girlfriend were to be seen wearing your designs, your paycheck would increase by at least another three zeros.

"Draco," Granger looked over at me again with pleading eyes, "please, I would rather wear a long dress that goes down to the floor, than one I can't bend over in because everything will be all hanging out." I have to agree, the elegant look suits Granger much better. Besides, her knees are all knobby looking.

"I agree." Ms. Harp looked like she could absolutely kill me.

"Mr. Malfoy, if you want high class taste, I suggest you go someplace else. I only do teenage party outfits." Which is why you are the hottest designer around, you design teenage clothing.

"If you insist Ms. Harp, I can do that, c'mon… Hermione, we can go to Madam Hypdra." Granger looked confused because 1) I called her Hermione 2) I forced her here basically and now for no reason 3) Because Ms. Harp is the best in the business

"No! Mr. Malfoy, don't do that! I've got a Make It Mrs. Weasley, I don't usually use it because I prefer to design dresses." That's what I thought, designers are selfish. Never will they send you to another designer. A magical designer at least, those muggle designers will send you away right and left if they don't like you…

"Ms. Granger, please, step this way," She guided Granger into a stall like room and told her what to do. When she was finished she stepped out, "What have you _done?_" She shrieked.

"You don't like it?" Granger said looking down at herself and poofing the skirt rocking on the heels of her shoes.

"Like it? Ms. Granger, if you don't mind me saying so, it's hideous." I had to agree. It mad her look like a Catholic mother of five. Gray, long, pleated all the way down the lower half, and a white boxish thing going on in the front. The dress is just too ugly to even begin explaining it.

Granger grumbled annoyed purely with Ms. Harp, while I was thinking to myself, the two estrogen producing homo sapiens argued heatedly over another dress. This one wasn't too bad. You could tell she had a few curves now.

"Draco, what do you think?" She asked turning away from the mirror she was looking in and Ms. Harp.

"It's not bad," She grinned, too bad it won't last, "for a fifty year old primary school teacher." She huffed and turned back to the mirror and asked me a question.

"Well, is there anything you like about it?" Hang on… this may take a while…

"The color! Black is good on you… it sets off your tan brilliantly. Say, where did you get a tan? It's only March." She blushed at this and replied.

"My parents and I went to the Caribbean over the Christmas break, and I got a great tan. Fortunately I happen to be one of those people that when they get tans they tend to last forever. Also, because I'm already tanned, I tan faster than the other girls." She said turning back to the stall to figure up a new dress. She usually takes awhile giving me time to think. Mudblood in a bathing suit… -shudder- Yah, her body isn't bad.. But ugh, Nasty! And she's been tanning at Hogwarts! She's defiled the school!

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"Draco! How about this one?" Ms. Harp was now fast asleep on several dresses piled in a chair.

"Wow." That honestly was all I could say. No bad remarks came to mind at all… gonna have to find a cure for whatever I've got… no bad things to say… can it be?

"So, you like it?" Like m'dear is not the word for it.

"It's perfect! I mean perfect!" I grinned at her, a true grin. A one time thing, trust me.

"Really? I remembered a dress this girl wore in a movie. It was just like this, except well, mines longer. I've got ugly legs."

"Well then, now that you've got the dress you want, lets wake up Ms. Harp."

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"Draco, I could have paid for that you know." Again! Women…

"You could have, but you didn't, did you? Also, you can stop calling me by my given name. We aren't in public anymore." I said jumping over a step that led to the doors of Hogwarts.

"Fine, _sir_. When is this stupid meeting with your evil cronies?"

"First off mudblood, it's not stupid and second," I looked down at my watch to see the time, "Three hours."

"Three hours?" Boy, I feel insulted, if this is the smartest girl at school… that must make the whole school… _stupid_… eh, oh well.

"Are you really that thick? Three hours until the meeting with the death eaters." Her face filled with shock and anger, and then she finally looked at her watch thoughtfully, like she was calculating, then ran off saying something about being very late. I don't see how, she's got three hours…

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"The little mudblood is putting her make up on." I told Draco. She actually looks hot I don't see how he is disgusted about having to go with her. Hell if I were Potter and Weasley, I would be madder than a queer with lockjaw on Valentines Day.

"Blaise, I know what you are thinking, don't even think about it." How does he know what I'm thinking? Why can't I Think about it? Does that men he's got a wee little crush on the resident Gryffindor mudblood? Boy, being an arrogant pureblooded Slytherin is hard.

"Alright then, say… where did mudblood get that hickey looking thing on her neck?" That should crack him.

"It's still there? Huh, I thought it would have gone away by now." Well, that certainly didn't work.

"Draco! You Dawg! You fucked with the mudblood?" -Fingers cross- please say no, please say no, please--

"You can open your eyes and uncross your fingers Blaise, no I didn't fuck with the mudblood. I punished her for calling me by my given name. Is her hickey thing really not there?" Fucking with, punishing… same thing!

"Yes, she probably used a concealment charm." I thought for a bit before he relaxed once more and leaned back on the pillows of his bed.

"D'you like her Draco?" He looked at me with one eyebrow cocked.

"Like who?" Don't play games with me.

"Granger Draco, do you like her?" His face went from innocent curiosity to instant disgust.

"Fuck no, what would make you think that?" I would tick the reasons off, but I may run out of fingers.

"Because when you said you knew what I Was thinking, you told me basically not to even try what I was thinking, as if you wanted her all for yourself."

"Of course I want her all to myself, I hate sharing the person I'm torturing with someone else. What's she doing now?" Oh, I guess he doesn't like her… Goodie, that leaves her for me… but everyone thinks I'm gay… poop! Oh yeah, what's she doing. I turned back to the wall next to her room and looked through a pair of muggle binoculars modified to look through walls.

"Wow, that dress is hot Draco, have you seen it? It's black satin, maybe silk, kinda see through so maybe a lacy fabric, I dunno, I've never been good with those things, always been you."

"Blaise."

"Not now Draco, let me finish telling you what it looks like. It goes down to the floor, it goes around her neck like those halter things that Pansy is always--"

"Blaise!"

"Hang on, almost done. Now the halter thing, it doesn't tie, just goes around the neck, then the front, it's like that G. Bo girl, except a lot more modest. It stops about four to five inches above her belly button, her boobs look a little--"

"BLAISE!"

"What man? Do you have any idea how she looks?"

"Hmm… what do you think I was doing all day? Gawking at brooms?" He paused for a moment and said, "don't answer that." I shrugged and looked back to Granger's room. Fuck!

"Holy shit!"

"I had no idea shit had holes in it… maybe mice that eat the holy cheese…" Draco said being quite miserable.

"Fuck you Draco, Granger just did an enlargement spell," He looked up from the muggle porno mag he was trying to figure out (how hard could it be? Are their body parts different or something? Maybe mutated? I don't think so, Granger's seem all in place, anyhow) and looked at me curiously. "Wanna guess where?"

"You're joking." He said completely shocked.

"No," I shook my head. Within a nanosecond Draco was next to me grabbing what I had been a moment ago looking through and doing the cliché choking me thing, the pig. Chokes his own best friend with binoculars just to look at a girl who was currently sporting a nicer rack than Millicent when Lockhart 'accidentally' hit her with a charm meant for a picture of himself. Now that I think about it, I don't think she ever them fixed… Maybe that's why she looks like a hunch back, Lockhart was using a very powerful enlargement spell ya know, it was 'meant' for a picture of himself.

I looked over to Draco, he seemed very into whatever Granger was doing. Hey! What the hell is that?

"Draco Malfoy, if you are going to be sprawled all over me looking at Granger, the least you could do is not get a fucking hard on!" His head snapped towards me and immediately he scrambled off me and pulled a quill out of his robes.

"Fucking perv." He said looking at me disgustedly.

"You're one to talk friend, for the first time in five minutes I can breath properly. I'm not being chocked by my best friend who is gawking at a girl cause she endowed herself more than the Gods and Merlin planned." The fucking pervert just grinned at me.

"Fuck you Blaise, fuck you." I just had to grin back… I couldn't help it.

"So, what time do we have to be at that stupid meeting?" Please be soon, I wanna ogle at the chick in the next room openly where other guys are also ogling her, making me not look like such a perv.

"About twenty minutes or so for the ones like you," Thank Merlin I'm all ready, dress robes and everything, "Another forty-five minutes for the mudblood and I."

"Draco! You aren't even ready yet! What's wrong with you?"

"Easy mate, it won't take long, a tuxedo and I'm good." Tux…weed? What the hell is that?

"Uh… Draco? What's a tuxweedo?" He looked at me and burst out laughing.

"Sorry, I forgot, mudblood and I are going in muggle dress clothes." …that explains her dress…

"What the hell for?"

"Make it seem like we are really dating and to make her dirty blood stand out." I should have figured that out all on my own.

"So why haven't you changed yet? If I know you like I do, it will take you ages to get yourself 'perfect'." I used the muggle air quotes to piss him off.

"For your information, I am perfect." He walked away and uttered something under his breath and where his robes once were was a nice simple black tuxweedo. I watched him walk over to the mirror and check himself out, "Damn I look good."

"You really are in love with yourself. I thought it was just a summer thing." Oh Merlin! Run Blaise, run for your life.

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"Oh fuck me!" Umm… "Not you, I forgot my purse in my room!" She has been hanging around Potter and Weasel too long. She's picked up their lingo for one another.

"Granger! We are already late! How could you forget it?!"

"Look I'm sorry, I had this weird feeling someone was looking at me all night while I was getting ready." Damn that sixth sense and Blaise! How he could find her hot… beyond me. I do have to give him one thing though. Her boobs look hot. The dress looks ten times better on her now.

"I wouldn't put it past your two friends." I was talking to thin air. She had already turned around to get her purse. What is it with women and those things? Why can't they be more like men? One wallet. We don't need one for every buggering outfit, they always match anyhow.

"Sorry, I'm back." How did she do that? Isn't her room on the other side?

"It's fine… now lets go. We've got a meeting to go to."

"By the way, Harry and Ron are no longer my friends," I raised my eyebrows and was about to ask a question but was rudely interrupted, "enough talking, we've got a meeting to crash."

A/n: I'm sorry I'm leaving off here… Consider this half of chapter 5... If I make this go any longer… (I've still got another 4 pages written and I'm not half done with the chapter…) I've actually already split this chapter up big time… kinda… The owl Hermione got from Draco was supposed to be in this chapter along _with_ the meeting, which would have included all of this. So I split it up and added on the night which was supposed to be a chapter all on it's own… but I don't think it can be now cause it's not going to be all that great… humor will be awful, so I just figured I could tack it onto this chapter… what A mistake… So! Review and tell me what you think of it so far… I must go off and write… oh yes, btw, after I think I _completely_ finish this chapter, I'm going to have to find a new notebook… The one I'm using has only 10 pages left.. And at the rate I'm going… (this one half here took up ten pages back and front college ruled… and I don't write big.) well yes anywho… GO ME! I just broke 3000 words! (I've never done that before… EVER!) A whole eight pages! Almost nine! Oh yeah, go me… Also, I'm on pen number 3! I've killed off 2 so far… well 1½ kinda… I had help with the first one! alrighty… Going now…

**My beautiful reviewers!**

**JADECOWAN (I think, it was anonymous**…): I'm glad you liked it, when I told my best friend about it, she was like 'it's really crude' and just humphed at me.. Then I shoved my notebook in her hand and made her read it and she had tears in her eyes from laughter…

**Black Rose, Black Heart: **Oh man I totally know whatcha mean, my mom's ex boyfriend John totally fucking sucks disintegrating balls! He drinks all the time and my moms says he beat her, not sure but he was so fucking fucked up… he is still ruining my life today, (My mom didn't see the need to get rid of him until she found some other umm… I don't know if I can see these things… she might be reading this fic I'm not sure) just last week he hotlined my father and mother. I don't know if you know what that is but too bad, lol. It's basically when you talk to Child Protective Services or Adult Protective Services in my case, Child Protective services and he said that my older brother (who is 16 with a mental disability which makes him in reality about 11) was spreading porn around school (my brother goes to a special school… they would have caught him doing that and he doesn't go to my school! So he couldn't have) He said my 19 year old boyfriend (he isn't 19 anymore… he's 20... A bit old for me… but I happen to like him quite a bit…) anyhow, he said that he was spending the night at both of my parent's house and that we were having sex with both of my parent's consent. My boyfriend won't even pick me up from school on Tuesday when he picks me up every Tuesday if my father doesn't know! But that is what he said. So this lady who has talked to my family before and found other hotlines untrue so she didn't feel a huge need to really do much, but she came to my school and talked to me and she talked to my father who flat out said Chris was the greatest guy he's ever met… his mom dragged him up right and that I would be through the wall if I was having sex with him. And my mom hasn't seen Chris since… before school started… so yah… Anywho.. Enough of that…

Yah, Harry is screwed, but I think I will have him get revenge in the chapter starring him and Ron.. Kinda… it ought to be funny but then again I'm counting my chickens before they hatch… Also, I'm glad you think OOC is just fine, cause that's what I'm going with!

**Blonde-brain: **Oh man! I saw you reviewed for Chapter 3 and I didn't even acknowledge you! I'm sorry… Also, I'm keeping it just the way it is!

**Padfootsluvr: **yay! A new reviewer! I'm glad you like it so much!

**XOxOkIsSmYaSsXoXo: **Yah, that's a guy for you. I'm not sure if all guys are like that though… I would have to talk to my brothers and a bunch of my friends to figure that out, although I do know about 2.34 percent of men are pervs. Now you know what Hermione is wearing!

**GothHottie: **I'm so glad my reviewers and I have the same sense of humor! Saves me from flames so go you! Haha, I told the castrating joke to my friend Greg and he dropped to the floor… it was brilliant…

**Sugar n spice 522: **I'm glad you liked the chapter

**Marmaladechicky: **I think I fixed that mistake… I think… thanks for always catching them! I'm sorry I don't update fast enough.. I try for every Sunday… Also, did I ruin it? I didn't try to hard, the shopping scene was just insanely hard to write… _never_ again will I write a shopping scene… How I thought writing one would be fun…


	7. I'm Gonna Do It Cont'd

Chapter 5 Cont'd: I'm Gonna Do It

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"You okay there?" A brunette was currently in my arms, she stumbled out of the fireplace and almost killed herself in the process. Stiletto heals could be a large problem. They ought to be outlawed… I should know, my wife loves to wear them, they are quite painful in my opinion… she has this terrible tendency to step on my feet…

"Sorry sir." Very respectful this one, wonder whose daughter she is. I'd love to set my boy up with this girl.

"What's your name young Miss?" She was about to respond and then she realized who I was I think. I would like to think that reaction is from my charmingly good looks. Oh look, there is my son now, won't he be surprised.

"You okay?" He looked at the girl with what looked to be like fake concern.

"Son, this is a fine one. You ought to find out who she belongs too." The girl's eyes got a deadly look in them. I wonder if she is distantly related to my wife…

"Father, I know who she is, I'm with her. Her name is Hermione Granger." …if I hadn't visited the restroom five minutes ago, I would have wet my trousers.

"What the hell are you doing with her?" I asked.

"What are you doing out of Azkaban?" Narcissa hasn't been doing her job well, he's still disrespectful.

"We've got plenty of money and the minister owed me a large favor for disposing of his second wife. Weird one that guy, but anyhow, you answer my question." He placed his arm around her and getting pleasure out of seeing my cringe. He leaned in towards her and whispered something into her ear, whatever he said, she smiled at.

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"I'm going to kiss you, now smile like I told you something you liked." I noticed her tense, then calm down remembering my father was right there. She's smiling at me, that's my cue.

I cupped her cheek in my hand, trying my hardest not to touch too much. She's shaking, how cute, Granger is nervous. Can't say I really blame her, secretly everyone is watching us, even though they all seem like they are off in their own world. Our lips finally touched, oh Dear Gods!! Gross, gross, grooooossss. Okay, pulling away now. Breath Draco, just breath. She's smiling at me like she liked it! Nooo!! Wait, people are looking at us, it's for appearances. Whew, close call there.

"Draco, how would you like to dance?" She didn't even wait for me to respond. She just pulled me out to the dance floor. I, being the male that I am decided to take control of the situation and pulled her close to me.

"Granger, don't even think about getting used to this."

"Getting used to what sir? Having everyone look at me like they hate me because 1) I'm the one who got the 'privilege' of being your girlfriend 2) I'm muggle born 3) My dress looks absolutely stunning (not modest is she?) 4) I fell into your father's arms during my oh so grand entrance.

No, I don't think I want to get used to this. That one kiss was enough of you to last me twenty lifetimes" Wow, I'm hurt…

"Ouch Granger, can you do any better? That didn't even break the skin." I looked at my watch to see how much time I still needed to spend with Granger when I heard a shrill voice calling me.

"Draco darling! Oh how I've missed you." She turned to Granger and shook her hand.

"I can't tell you how grateful I am towards you Ms. Granger, helping my Draco." Don't you dare ruin this Granger, the woman thinks you came along almost willingly! What? So I lied to my own mum. It's not like her I kiss her with my 'foul' mouth. Just those who deserve it.

"Oh Mrs. Malfoy!" She gushed, "it's not really like acting at all! He's such a charming man. If I didn't know I would be breaking up with him I would say he's the one." Wow, she really plays her part well and shines when shining is needed. Thank you Merlin! I may be saved just yet.

"Oh Lucius," My mother said with a tear in her eye, what is it with women and being so emotional? So help me Merlin (helps a lot doesn't he?) if Granger is P.M.Sing or already has her period next week at the ministry meeting. "Aren't they just so sweet together?"

"Yes, just so sweet." My father said with his jaw clenched. If the bloke clenches that thing any tighter he's gonna break it… Maybe I should kiss mudblood again…

"Dear, I did tell you that Ms. Granger here is only Draco's girlfriend so we can prove he is innocent, didn't I? I do believe… my dear old mother forgot.

"No sweet, you failed to mention it." His face relaxed a little, not much, just a little mind you, "Why can't she just say she is his girlfriend instead of actually being his girlfriend?" You know, that's a good question.

"I can answer that sir," Does she want me to hand her a shovel so she can dig her grave too? "If we were to ever be placed under veriteserum, we would be found out." Well, I'm glad I'm dating the smartest girl at Hogwarts.

"Very good Hermione! I'm so glad you knew! I forgot to tell Draco that wee bit. I am honestly loosing my mind these days." I don't know if she's loosing it, or if my father has been helping her along…

"I see, well if it must happen. So be it, but," He turned away from my mother and looked at me, his cold piercing eyes starring straight into mine, "do not let anything come from this little thing, it is to be like a spring romance, understood?"

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"Yes sir, the mining of blackberry salt is a very interesting process…. That I would love to hear about… someothertimebye!" I ran away from that drunken man as fast as I could.

I spotted Granger across the room, well Hermione with Draco and his mum and dad. Dad? Oh fuck, I gotta get her away from him! Even if what she is doing is for a good cause for 'our side' he will kill her with a whole two words, one flick of his wand, an oops to finish it off, and get away with it.

"Hello Mr. Malfoy, you won't mind if I steal your son's beautiful date here, would you?" I didn't even wait for him to reply, just pulled a Granger and stole her away out onto the dance floor.

"You're welcome Hermione." She got a confused look on her face.

"Do I know you?" Low blow!

"Well, that wasn't the thanks I was expecting…" Does she know me? I'm not really a loud person, don't make much of a fuss, no I guess she doesn't really know me. "Blaise Zabini miss. I'm Draco's best friend." she still didn't seem to know who I was, but relaxed a little. Probably thankful I'm someone who knows why she is here and who she truly is.

"Thank you sir. I think Mr. Malfoy was about to throttle… D-M…. his son! Back there." Wow, one scared girl, I pulled her close, she started to resist.

"Don't I'm sure Malfoy told you earlier, but everyone is watching us, even if they don't look it. You are t he main reason of this meeting." She stopped struggling and relaxed completely. Damn I'm good.

"Why? And why does this seem more like a party than a meeting?" Pistol full of questions, firing off one after another. Oh well, she's hot, her boobs are pressed against my chest, and she already seems to like me more than Draco.

"You're the main reason because everyone figured Draco would end up with Pansy, but when she owled Voldemort the letter saying that Draco was a traitor because he was dating you. So Draco is here to prove his loyalty and to show off his new girl. By the way, I must say, you are a hell of a lot better looking than Pansy and smell better… she seemed to smell of fish.

I felt her giggle against me. Oh Gods! Don't do that! Do you know that boobs move when one giggles? Well, I just learned that and, that it turns me on. She steps just right and everyone knows I'm not gay. Which would be a good thing… but not in these circumstances!

"How about we go sit and talk, people may get suspicious if we dance too long. Maybe we can drag Draco along too." She pulled away from me and walked off the dance floor by my side.

"So sir, why is this more like a party?" Oh right!

"It's more like a party because we 'death eaters' like to have fun. Hanging out in the dungeons with our head bowed gets a bit tiring."

"Oh, so you aren't one yet?" Maybe I should scratch out what I said earlier, she's like a fucking machine gun.

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"Sir, you never did answer my question." What question? What have you been telling her Blaise? So help me Merlin if you gave away something important…

"What question would that be Hermione?" Blaise's earlier analogy of Hermione's non-stop questioning came back to me…

Blaise leaned against a cushion in my room. We flooed back about a half hour after I met up with them after their dance, we didn't stay at the party long, we weren't expected too. We are still students of course. Everyone believed us, Granger and I are now completely accepted as a couple, yay for me! Lets clap and sing a song! Merlin kill me now, save me from this endless suffering and torture of being mudblood Hermione Granger's boyfriend. She even has just interrupted me, go on, listen and look at that!

"You aren't a death eater yet?" What the fuck Blaise!! Oh I'm sure your going to keep it on the down low, way to go buddy ole pal, I don't mind my life secrets being given out to the girl that is part of the Bloody Fucking Golden Trio!

"Blaise." I said my voice full of steel. Well as steely as I could make it, inside I'm ranting like a fucking lunatic who more than lost his marbles…

"Draco chill, I'm not the one that everyone is watching," He turned toward Granger, "No, I'm not, I've given neither side my loyalty. I've got the choices of Voldemort, who once you get to know, is fucking crazy, no one can help that man, he gets off on muggle blood, really, he bathes in it like it was water. Harry… Oh Harry… the 17 year old boy who doesn't even know how he survived the deadliest curse, do I want to follow him? Besides, he's got the worst fashion sense in the world." Some days, I truly wonder if Blaise is gay… but the way he was staring at Granger was uhmm… definitely not the actions of a gay man. "By the way Hermione, you don't need to call me sir, my name is Blaise, please do call me by that." Great, now he's hitting on my girlfriend. I shot him a look and he just smirked at me, what a pal huh?

"What about you sir?" She looked at me, why does Blaise always seem to get me into some sort of predicament like this?

"Well, I'm neither. I feel the same way as Blaise does." She looked at me like she was in deep thought, "So if you're neither, why did you need to prove your loyalty to Voldemort?" This is exactly why I don't tell people things.

"I value my life Granger, I don't want to be killed because Pansy told on me." I barely stopped talking before she shot out another question at me.

"So why do you have to prove to the ministry that you aren't evil?" Why does she have to be so smart?

"I want to prove my 'loyalty' to Voldemort because I want to live, I want to prove my innocence to the ministry to live." Will those be good enough answers for her?

"So basically, all of those who are like the two of you, know what's happening, what has happened, and what will happen on both sides?" Thankfully Blaise answered this one for me.

"Hermione, you've hit the nail on the head." Nails… they still make me queasy. -Shudder-

"Do you two know how valuable you are?" That just like her! Trying to make us all goody-goody!

"Yes Granger, we know, and we like the way we are, we will remain neutral for the remainder of the war." When will she end this bloody interrogation?

"How do you do that?" Nope, this won't be anytime soon.

"By having Dumbledore's side think I'm on their side but just with Voldemort's side to save my arse and vise versa."

"Oh, okay." She said cheerfully, like she was no longer confused…. But was she confused to begin with?

"Now I've got some questions to ask you." She looked up from the hair she was picking off Blaise's robe and gave me a look that I believe meant she wanted me to continue, "Why aren't you and the Golden Boys friends anymore?"

"Well earlier when we got back from shopping they came and visited me. Ron already said he didn't want to be friends with me that day in the library. But Harry…: I Watched Blaise move closer to her and resting his hand on hers. Oh Gods, I've got a puppy love sick guy on my hands.

"Harry and I hadn't talked since we argued about the mark you left. HE of course hates me, he really thinks I wrote that awful diary entry. Ginny of course broke up with him, he's had to face the wrath of George and the rest of the Weasley brood. Well, anyhow, they only came to see me to tell me that they were turning my name into Dumbledore because I was hanging around you, so I must be evil. I told them Dumbledore would never believe them, but they didn't listen. I kicked them out and said I never wanted to see either of them." Go Granger… err… I mean…

"Well it was their loss Hermione, it truly was." Blaise said trying to impress her. He ought to just get over her, she's mine! Whoa, did I say that? Huh.

"Well I better be going, see you boys." She stood up and left giving Blaise a slight smile.

"Hold up Hermione, let me walk you to your room." Blaise said standing up and walking her out of my room, giving me time to think.

Why do I have to be with her just to prove loyalty to both sides? Why does Blaise have to be falling in love with my girlfriend? Why do I have to start respecting her? Why, why, why!!?!

Blaise came back in grinning like a fricken, I dunno what, but it was something.

"What's got you all happy?" I asked.

"I have got a date with Hermione tomorrow afternoon." Should have guessed.

"Better be careful with my girl."

"Why? Afraid she will leave you for me?" Hah! That's funny!

"No, she's got an inventive imagination," Blaise cocked an eyebrow at me, so I figured I'd explain, "She's invented this new way of castrating men with a rusty nail and superglue, and I'm pretty sure she's got more up her sleeve." I think the dear boy fainted.

Onto my 2 lonely reviewers...

Black Rose, Black Heart: Yah, Hotline... one happens about every year... since about the time I turned 4... (After my parents split up) but I don't really care... I'm a full blown daddy's girl. I'm glad you liked the chapter! (Just to let you know, you are my most loyal reviewer! and favorite...(...not that I dislike any of my other reviewers(to the readers who read other reviews) just so you know!) but yah, you are my favorite!) that was a lot of parentheses.... o.0 trippy

Alenor: Aye, I think you are right in assuming Blaise has the hotts for Hermione! Also yah it sucks for George, but it's just fanfic... I had to add the proposal thing in there, needed the guy to have some reason to over emotional about it. Thanks for reviewing!


	8. Voldie Said What?

**Chapter Six: Voldie Said What?**

"Darling dearest honey bunches will you _marry_ me?"

"Fuck off Draco! It was just a date! And it was two weeks ago! One might have thought you'd be over it by now. But obviously not." Party Pooper!

"Blaise, it's just fun to pick on you." Really, every time I say something like that he gets all red and flustered. Hot and bothered maybe? Oh how funny it would be were it true…. Anyone else notice that I need a life?

"Yah, well I don't like it anymore." He said rather testily.

"Something happen between you two?" Fat chance, every time I look at Granger she's ogling at Blaise and he's ogling right back. Trouble in the love boat? I think not.

"Yah something happened Draco! You happened! You bloody fucking happened!" That wasn't what I was expecting at all. I figured Granger wouldn't go all the way with him.

"Easy mate, what's wrong with my mere existence?" Mere my ass, but hey it sounded good.

"She said no to me." Well he just won the obvious award of the year didn't he?

"Care to… _elaborate_ a bit?" More like a lot, but we can go slow…ish

"She's too faithful." …well, we sure are getting somewhere aren't we? Make a great bloody seer, never a straight fucking answer. A riddle to answer another riddle until you're so bogged down by riddles you just want to pull your hair out. …sorry, bad past experiences, I don't care to go into further detail, Anywho… back to Blaise!

"To whom is she 'too faithful'?"

"You!" Uhh…

"Me?"

"You! Want me to spell it out? Y-O-U! You, you, you!" Now I've got to lean against a wall for support cause I'm so confused… If I wasn't on my feet I would wonder what was up and what was down.

"How did she say no to you and remain faithful to me?" After saying it aloud bells, whistles, and flushing noises all went off in my head, "Oh Blaise, I'm sorry!" Wow, I really am. My own best friend asked a girl out and was turned down because of me.

"Draco, that's not the worst part thought," I looked at him and he continued on, "After I asked her, her exact words were, 'Aren't you gay?' How bloody humiliating is that?" Certainly didn't notice that one coming.

"What about all those staring contests across the hall?" Surely that means _something_.

"I asked about those, she said she wasn't ogling at me, she was looking at the bricks in the wall behind me. She thought she saw a pattern or something like that…" Wow, that's harsh.

"Does she still think you're gay?" He looked up at me and shook his head, "Oi… so what did you tell her?"

"Nothing really, I told her I had some business to take care of and left after about ten minutes of awkward conversation." Poor bloke…

A girl not wanting to date him because of me… one would think I'd be used to this feeling by now… all warm and fuzz. Gives my self-confidence a rather large boost, not that it really needed any. Don't get me wrong or anything, I do feel really bad, but it still feels damn good to know she wants me more than him. (A/n: Girls, tell me you don't know how that feels)

_Dearest Hermione Granger_

_I hope all is well with you and young Malfoy. The reason as _

_to why I am writing is that my followers and myself would like _

_for your relationship to go public. We don't want to be the _

_only ones to know about your precious relationship. The _

_whole world ought to know! I've taken the liberty to make _

_reservations at a restaurant for you and young Malfoy to _

_announce your relationship. I've enclosed all details in _

_another envelope which you should have received by now._

_Yours truly_

_Lord Voldemort_

I looked up from the letter Granger stuffed in my hand seconds before and was for the second time this week, thoroughly confused.

"What the hell does this mean? Hmm?" Lords Granger, I wish I knew

"I don't know Granger, I guess we have to do what good ole Voldie says too, go on a date." Ew, ew, ew! Damn that man!

"What if I don't want too?" Then you get to tell Voldie.

"You've got to Granger, do you know what that crazy bastard would do to us?" Your evil means of castration wouldn't even compare…

"I don't care if the whole world is to know, that means I've _really_ have to act like your girlfriend. I can't just go about my life and ignore you, I'm gonna have to actually pay attention to you now." I'm offended! I'm so not that boring!

"Sorry sweetie, but you're just gonna have too." I said pulling her into me. Her look of disgust amusing me.

"Malfoy, what did I say about calling me sweetie?" -Gulp-

"Darling." She smiled at me.

"Much better."

"So, what are we going to do about that date?" I said pulling away from her and looking at all the people staring at us.

"I'm not sure that we need it, if people here at Hogwarts seem to have just figured it out, the rest of the world will know within three days." She said grabbing my arm and leading me out of the hall with the letter and second envelope in her other hand.

"Open the envelope, I want to know when Voldie planned this date." Knowing him it will be tomorrow night. Man never gives good notice.

"Sir, you're not going to believe this…" I looked at her curiously and grabbed the piece of parchment from her.

"One O'clock! What the hell! That's in…" I looked at my watch, "An hour!" She nodded her head and said she'd go tell Dumbledore we had to leave and then meet me at my dorm in forty-five minutes. My ass. I say we're at least twenty minutes late… on top of the fashionably late, late… (did that make sense to anyone?)

As I was walking towards my dorm I heard someone behind me, but figuring it was just another student I walked on.

"Mister Malfoy, would you please slow down?" Aww! It's Snape…

"Yes professor?" I said as respectfully as I could.

"Did you get His letter?" This should be fun… I smirked on the inside wishing I could have done the same on the outside.

"Whose letter sir?" He only looks slightly annoyed right now. Give me time to warm up.

"_His_ letter Mister Malfoy." Hehe… Too much fun here…

"If you're talking about my father's letter, yah, I got it on Thursday sir. He had a few colorful words to say about my relations with Granger." Ooh! Too bloody fun! Not to mention easy . I can already tell he's loosing his cool.

"Mister Malfoy, you know what letter I'm talking about."

"Do I sir?" I said feigning innocence.

"Why else would you have been holding Miss Granger in the Great Hall?" Fun is now officially over.

"To make people talk?"

"Very funny Mister Malfoy, do the two of you realize what time it is?" Sure do.

"Why do you think I was headed toward my dorm sir? To stare at myself in my mirror and hear it say how damn good I look?"

"Actually Mister Malfoy…" I cut him off before he could say more.

"Don't even think about it, I shall see you tomorrow in class." I said turning back around and walking towards my room. What a jerk off! How could he think I would actually stare at myself in the mirror? Bah… Fucking asshole!

"Mudblood hurry it up!" I said banging on her door.

"Young man, making all that racket isn't going to make her go any faster." A portrait on the wall told me quite rudely, I shrugged her off and continued banging on the door.

"Just come in Malfoy! The portrait across the hall won't like all the noise you're making. If she hasn't yelled at you already I might die of shock." I turned around to look at the portrait who was smiling sweetly at me and scowled. I turned back to the knob that was currently in my grasp but it wouldn't budge.

"Granger! The door won't open!" I yelled.

"Honestly boy, don't you know anything? You have to jab the star above it for it to open. The knob is a dude to throw off people from getting in here. I had no idea it would fool you too," I jabbed the star and walked into her room, slamming the door behind me, "Oi! Be careful, you could knock pictures off the wall!" I looked at the mentioned wall and saw pictures upon pictures of her with her family, Golden boys, and muggle teenagers at several places across London.

"Who are those people in the pictures?" I asked pointing to the pictures as she ran by me looking for a pair of shoes that were sitting by her door.

"A few of my friends from home in London." She said while looking underneath her bed for her shoes.

"Well that's obvious my little mudblood. What I meant was what are their names? What are they like?" I asked handing her her shoes.

"Thanks, the blonde girl is Kayla. She moved to London from a small town in Scotland. She's a bit eccentric, but nice all the same. Chris, the tall one; he's really into sports. Loves playing football. Why anyone would want to run around kicking a ball and not being allowed to use their hands is beyond me. Unbelievably stupid," I'd have to agree with her there, "it's about as dumb as chasing balls on brooms," she turned to look at me and smiled but before I could object she was pushing me out the door and explaining her other friends to me.

We were walking into the room Dumbledore told Granger we were to floo out of when I realized what she was wearing.

"Granger! Why are you wearing that?"

"What do you mean? Don't you like it?" She asked looking down at her clothes smiling.

"Like it? It's hideous!" She looked hurt for a second then yelled at me.

"Well if it's not good enough either fix it or I'm not going!"

"Fine then," I transfigured the white jeans she was wearing into a red plaid skirt with silver fastenings, her pink fuzzy pig socks had to go, so I changed them into thigh high black stockings, her shoes (which were the only nice thing on her) into a pair of hooker boots that went just above her knees, her red hoody into a white button down blouse, and much to her embarrassment the color of her bra.

"Sweetums, why must I have a black bra?" She'd been calling me that bloody name since we'd arrived at the restaurant. But all is good, I've got my own horrifically nasty name for her.

"_Babydoll_ the outfit makes you look innocent, but the bra lets everyone know that I've rubbed off on you." Ahh how I love the look she gives me when I call her that. I ought to be careful, I get any worse one might think I've turned into the sadistic bastard Snape is.

"Draco dear, you know how I feel about that name." Oh Do I…

"Yes m'dear I do, but you know, have to keep up appearances for the media." I told her waving my hand towards the people who were trying to fade into the background, but failing miserably at it.

"Yes, yes Draco. When are we to announce our oh so _wonderful_ news to them? I'm starving and I don't exactly like people staring and taking pictures while I'm eating." Women… not even wanting their picture taken. She would never do good in my family… The paparazzi have a permanent stake out at my bathroom window at home.

**A/n: Yes… very uneventful… I planned on this being Draco paying her back, but I didn't want to do anything like that anymore. I dislike immensely having to write the fluffy stuff. This fic was supposed to be a dark fic, but it didn't turn out like that… it's more humorous… although this chapter only had one good piece in my opinion… I'm not up to par… Just the other day my teacher gave us a journal question: If you were to travel to an oasis on horseback and had no technology like cell phones, mp3 players, laptops, nothing, what would you do to entertain yourself? (We were just starting Canterbury Tales) I of course responded being the very serious person I am: If I were to entertain myself while traveling on horseback to an oasis, I would sing Christmas carols out of tune, kick my own butt at Solitaire, quote "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" miserably bad, yet quote "The Nightmare Before Christmas" quite expertly. I would also rant on insanely whether people were listening to me or not, about how garden gnomes are under appreciated in today's society and that underwear gnomes are being blamed for the loss of too many pairs of underwear… they do not steal underwear! They are just a figment of someone's imagination who lost their underwear and won't admit to being a filthy piece of scum 'cause they lost their underwear! **

**Needless to say folks, I got 100 percent. I had the only unserious and true to myself answer. My best friend, the freak, said she would race the horse! This coming from the girl… that walks down the hall with me… and trying to get a guy to notice us by me tickling/pushing her into a guy we stalked at the mall… hehe… we made a spectacle of ourselves! Middle of the mall… we were tripping all over each other and being unbelievably loud… Anywho, sorry for the lateness of the delay, I've got good reasons! The main one thinking I had already uploaded it… I had this completely finished on Sunday like usual! But… I forgot to upload it… Sorry everyone! Personal thank yous next chapter, I'm too lazy to do them right now… and I've got an unbelievable amount of homework… Chaucer ought to be killed again for writing the Canterbury Tales…**

**Also, is there anything I can do to make this story better? What do you girls/guys think? Also, tell me what gender ya'll are! I'm sure all of my usual reviewers are girls! Also (I use that word a lot) someone tell me how I write like a boy? Two people have brought that to my attention!**

**A bit of Music trivia also for you folks, the lead singer in Stone Sour (Corey Taylor) was once part of what band?**


	9. My Hermione

**Chapter 7: My Hermione**

**Rita: **_"Miss Granger, what is it like to be Head Girl?"_

**Hermione: **_"It's quite wonderful, an honor really. For six years I worked for the spot and I achieved it."_

**Rita: **_"Mister Malfoy, do you like working with Miss Granger?"_

**Draco: **_"Of course, she is an amazing woman, in fact so amazing that I decided to make her mine."_

**Rita: **_"Miss Granger, that smile is quite large, care to explain what Mister Malfoy is talking about?_

**Hermione: **_"What… Draco is talking about is that we are a couple now, boyfriend and girlfriend."_

**Rita: **_"Wow, that is quite a shock, pureblood and muggle born. How do you parents feel about this? Mister Malfoy I understand your father has been released from Azkaban?"_

**Draco: **_"Hermione's parents are ecstatic about us, they truly like me. Yes, my father has been released, and my mother absolutely adores Hermione, my father… is learning to live with it."_

**Rita: **_"I see, Miss Granger that is quite an outfit you have on, may I ask where it came from?"_

**Hermione: **_"Of course, it came from Draco, all his doing. It doesn't look half bad coming from a guy, huh?"_

Hermione certainly didn't seem to think so, from the look on her face.

"She looks happy, don't you think?" She doesn't look happy! She looks… unsatisfied!

"Nope, doesn't look the least bit happy."

"Oh Puh-Lease! Don't be so thick! She looks ecstatic to be with Malfoy." What's she on about? I've clearly said she doesn't look happy and that should be it!

"She ought to be with me, I'm better for her!" She looked at me for two seconds before busting up.

"Yah right, you blew her off in sixth year." She looked over to the guy across the room and snarled at him, he was walking over.

"You read the paper yet mate?" He asked me showing me the paper he held in his hand, when he finally reached the two of us.

I waved mine in front of me, "Sure have," I nodded my head towards the girl, "She thinks she looks happy." His eyes scanned over her and mumbled something.

"What was that?" He looked at me with sadness and said:

"She doesn't even know what's good for herself, she has no right to say what is for 'Mione."

"Sorry, I figured the two of you disliked her."

"What would that have to do with it?" Chicks, I swear.

"Well Ron, she cheated on George with Harry here, who denies everything and Harry cheated on me with her. I hate him, you two hate her, I'm getting back at both of you." I wonder if she knows she doesn't make sense…

"Whatever Ginny, lay off the muggle drugs that Collin has been passing around." I motioned for Harry to follow me and walked out of our common room.

"What do you think Ginny is on?" I asked Harry as we were walking down the halls wandering aimlessly.

"I dunno, I think we ought to just ignore her." He couldn't look at me in the face, so he stared very intently at the floor.

"Harry, it's okay to tell me you're upset, I know you really liked my sister." But you liked Hermione better sick bastard.

"I did, but she didn't get the forgiving trait from your father like you and George did. You two forgave me, she didn't. How can I like someone who won't even forgive me?" Who said George and I forgave you?

"Well well well, lookie at what we have here. Potty and Weasel." A voice from behind us said.

We turned around sharply to find the one and only; Draco Malfoy. He was standing with the Zabini queer and our beloved Gryffindor slut. (he's changed his attitude towards her b/c he's angry, it happens a lot in this chapter, he's moody)

"What do you want ferret? Some kitty food?" I mentally laughed, I can still see Malfoy as a ferret as clearly as I could when it happen three years ago.

"If I wanted cat food, I would go between Granger's legs." Huh? Between Hermione's… legs?

"Malfoy you sick fuck!" I looked over to Harry who was shaking with anger.

"What's wrong Potter? We all know you've already been there, what's so bad about me doing the same?" What the hell are you talking about? Someone clue me in here.

"Because I know you're cringing inside right now just from holding her hand. No way in hell would you ever touch her with your mouth, especially there." Malfoy looked a little taken aback but recovered quickly and grabbed Hermione.

"Let go of her! She's not yours!" Even if I don't get this argument, I don't want him touching Hermione.

Malfoy leaned down towards Hermione's neck and actually started nibbling it! He moved toward her ear and whispered something into it. How dare he! I should be whispering sweet little nothings into her ear. No, George should be.

"Oh! Yes, God Draco!" What the fuck? She's liking that disgusting torture? He doesn't even seem to know what he is doing! I mean his hands are moving down her back to her arse pulling her closer to him, forcing her nether region to grind right up against his ferret balls.

"Ahh…" She really likes it… I doubt that though, that moan was a lot quieter, more like a whimper. Why is her leg doing that? Should it be going up and hooking around his waist? There goes the other leg! And Zabini too… I wonder why he left… He's gay! He shouldn't have left… at least he out lasted Harry who walked off when she called out Malfoy's name. Hey! That bite mark is still there… wow, she has got one great neck. It would be amazing if ferret boy's germs weren't all over it! How is her head not snapping off? If it goes any farther back Malfoy will have to take her to St. Mungo's, although she doesn't seem to notice, her fingers are wrapped into Malfoy's hair. I'm amazed she hasn't been hexed yet.

"Merlin Hermione." That's it! I don't want to see anymore, I'm leaving.

As I was walking off to find Harry I looked back to find Hermione shoved against the wall and snogging Malfoy as if she couldn't get enough of him. Fucking slut, I need to owl George about this.

"Is he gone?" I certainly hoped so… I turned my head carefully nibbling on her neck and saw that he was gone.

"Yup!" I dropped her on her arse.

"Oof! Sir, was that really necessary?" Sure was, I'm gonna be decontaminating myself for months.

"Just shut up mudblood."

"Sir, I will but you might want to take care of yourself in the bathroom, that boner could knock a dwarf's eye out." What's she talking about, I don't have a boner… even if I did, it would be well concealed. So I looked down and realized what she was talking about.

"What gives? Both you and Blaise are sick pervs!" I pulled a quill out of my robe's pocket and held it to her face. "See, no boner, just a quill."

"Sorry sir, didn't know, all I know is that I think I've got a permanent mark on my arse now!" Complain, complain. I'm gonna learn to tune her out someday…

"Whatever Granger."

"Hey sir, come back to my room with me." What's she on? Is the whole school infested with muggle drugs?

"Mudblood, you may have liked that, but I certainly did not. If your so turned on, have a galleon." I flipped a gold coin at her, "and buy a muggle sex toy, Pansy seems to think very highly of them. Were she here I think she would suggest the finger one. You slip it on your finger and it vibrates, need I say more?

"Malfoy, you sick pig! I wouldn't take your money for sex toys, I'd rather fuck Blaise who is gay than do that! Also, I wanted you to come to my room so I could give you a book full of cleaning spells. Fucking pig…" I'm having a terrible influence on this girl, and I'm loving it.

"First off Granger, it's sir, second Blaise is straighter than Dumbledore's beard, third, lead the way to your room." I love the look she gets when she's confused.

She nodded her head slowly still trying to figure out what I just said to her and led the way to her room slowly. I had to steer her away from a wall or two and even help her up the stairs so she wouldn't kill herself. She was so dazed she couldn't figure out how to open her own door, she's lucky I remembered!

"What's wrong with you Granger?" I said shaking her when we got into her room.

"He's really not gay?" Is that what she's so freaked about? I'd have figured it was my good looks. A guy can hope right?

"For Merlin's sake Granger, did you not figure it out when he asked you to go with him?"

"No, I figured you put him up to it, so I would look bad around here." Too smart for her own good.

"I don't know about you Granger…"

She didn't respond to be, but went over to an immensely organized book shelf and pulled out a monstrous book that looked never ending.

"Why is it so big?" She laughed at me before talking.

"Because it's filled with every cleaning, disinfecting, and organizing spells known to the magical world." Maybe she can come in handy.

"Where did you get this from? I've never seen it before. It must be worth a fortune, no?" I looked down at the book to see if I might know the author, sure enough I do, both of them in fact.

"You and Molly Weasley made this book?"

"Of course we did, Molly knew almost every spell there was for cleaning, after all she's got seven kids, and I researched and found more spells to create that. It's one of a kind." Wow… the only cleaning spell my mum knows is scurgify and that doesn't even work, it tends to make things messier…

"Why haven't you gotten a copyright? You could publish this thing and make a fortune!"

"Why do you even care?"

"I've got a love for money, that's why I care."

"You wouldn't dare publish that under your own name, would you?" She said taking a step forward.

"No, under yours and Weasel's mum." She continued walking towards me.

"Why? What would you get out of it?" Isn't that obvious?

"Fame."

"Fame?"

"Fame."

"Don't you already have that?" She stopped walking towards me, but continued to talk. "How would Molly and I make you famous anyway."

"I'd be dating the author of a best selling author who is still completing Hogwarts."

"I should have known."

_Molly,_

_As you know, Draco Malfoy and I are together. I'm terribly _

_sorry about George, although I hope he told you why it had to be. Anyhow, do you remember that book you and I created on cleaning spells, so I could keep a handle on the boys and keep them looking clean? Well Draco saw it and believes that it's brilliant and that we could make a great fortune publishing it. I was wondering would you like to publish it? Thanks for your time._

_Love,_

_Hermione_

_P.S. Disregard anything Harry or Ron say about me in a hall with Draco, it was a complete misunderstanding. _

I looked up from reading the note and nodded my head in approval.

"What was with the bit at the end?" She bit her lip and looked down at me.

"I don't want her thinking any less of me than she may already."

"You told the freak Weasel about us?"

"Well yes, I needed to be honest and open about it, I also didn't want him killing Harry. It's all sorted out now."

"I thought I told you to keep quiet about that."

"I'm sorry, he's bound to me, he can't tell anyone who will divulge it to someone bad." Huh?

"How the hell do you know that?"

"We made a pact, we really loved each other, we didn't want anybody finding us out when we first got together or slippage of it during our sleep. It can even withstand veriteserum." Whoa…

"How did you do that?"

"Even though he may not seem it, George is pretty powerful, and we already know I am extremely powerful."

"Oh okay. Whatever…" I started to leave her room with the book but turned around to say something."

"By the way, the ministry moved the meeting up, it's in three days." I heard something fall, but I'm not sure what. It may have been a shock, we weren't supposed to meet them until after graduation. I know what you're thinking, why did I have to make her my girlfriend so soon? Simple, to make the relationship seem serious. They will really think I'm innocent.

**Heh, sorry guys! I meant to update so long ago... But alas, I'm sicker than a dog... it stinks! Also my boyfriend broke up with me, but it's all good because him and I are still extremely close friends, we still hug and kiss but it's not like we are all over each other and junk. and... I don't remember my other reasonings... but I had a lot of excuses... but yah! anywho! onto chapter five review thank yous: **

**JADECOWAN: Yah I liked it too, the Blaise/Draco thing is awesome, and the great thing about Blaise is no one really knows what he is like, so he can be shaped and molded anyway I want him to be and he still works.**

**Alenor: yah it was gross with Lucius, but I thought it was funny :D**

**Black Rose Black Heart: I'm so sorry I made you cry! But I'm honored to know that you felt that way. I do plan to have something extreme with Lucius go on though... I'm stoked about writing that part... such different personalities... (I just used the word stoked... :goes off to find someone to beat her:)**

**Sugar N Spice 522: yah... I'm somehow gonna try to get them to like each other.. somehow...**

**Chapter Six reviews:**

**Alenor: Yah staring at the wall behind him... I didn't like the excuse... I wish I could have changed it... but I couldn't think of anything else... I was stuck on that for hours one day...**

**Black Rose Black Heart: I'm glad you liked the twist, what confused you?**

**VoldemortsVeela: I'm glad you like it!**

**Jesska-14: Glad you think its cute... not what I was going for.. but thanks**

**Sugar N Spice 522: I'm glad that you don't think I write like a boy. When I questioned my friend about it she said it seems I write like a boy cause I write from guys' perspectives and it may be becaues I have all guy friends... and that guy at the mall... he knows I exist now! go me! hehe... it may have been the 'accidental' run ins at his locker that did it...**

**Fiona McKinnon: Is your name really Fiona? if it is you are so lucky... Anywho, yah... if someone doesn't have a stakeout on Tom Felton's windows at home... then... I don't know.. but it's wrong. The Draco Malfoy in JK's story, I'm sure that Draco woudl open his window and let it all hang out just cuz he's a pureblood**

**CrystalMidnightRose: I'm glad you like it. I like your name... it's so... romantic... :Tears..: Valentine's Day sucks... damn my ex! heh... sorry... still a bit emotional about our break up..**

**Thanks guys! also... the trivia bit... that no one guessed on... Corey Taylor was from Slipknot... and did anyone else know Evanescence broke up? I fell off the tredmill I was sprinting on during Gym when my friend Jessica told me that... and then I got back up and fell off again cause she told me her cousin was the biggest prep in school... (shes a freak like me)**


	10. Live and Learn

**Hey guess what guys! Just 2 chapters left! Well, one and then the Epilogue!**

**Also! Everyone needs to go read Run Faster by MagicalWishes25 The fic is awesome! I totally love it, and I think ya'll will too! **

**Chapter 8: Live and Learn**

Listen up guys, don't you ever piss a chick off! I am living proof that they aren't wimps. Well, not me exactly; but the marks on my cheeks are. A nice red handprint on each side. One long and elegant, the other small, almost childish.

**Several Hours Earlier**

"Draco dear, show Hermione off, she's looking radiant tonight!" Radiant my ass.

"Yes mother." I mumbled under my breath, hoping she didn't hear the disgust.

"Miss Granger!" Is it torture Draco night or something? Jeez… A guy needs a break sometimes.

"Hello Minister," the girl next to me said sickeningly sweet, "How are you this is beautiful evening?" If she lays it on any thicker, he'll be covered in molasses.

"Wonderful, wonderful. I see you're with your new beau. Let me tell you now, when I saw the paper the other morning, I about died." So why didn't you? Would have done us all good.

"Why is that Minister? Are you not well?" They really say she's smart?

"Peachy, it was the article that got to me. Never did I think you would date Draco Malfoy. He doesn't seem like your type."

I could feel the heat radiating off Granger. The Minister may not know it, but he over stepped his boundary. I've only been forced to hang around her a little while, and already I know that nobody judges Hermione Granger. The out come is worse than a lifetime sentence in Azkaban. Even for me it was horrible. Why you ask? Because she took it out on me.

**Back to Present Time**

You might think that it's all good and dandy. You also might think she told the Minister off, said a few choice words and was over it. Well think again my mere muggle friends. She kissed me. She freaking kissed me. Do you have any idea how raw my lips are? I believe I used every bloody spell in the book she gave me last week. She kissed me! How appalling is that? I've been tainted, well not really, but still! _She _kissed _me_, am I supposed to be happy with that? No? That's what I thought, apparently, my mother didn't think so.

**Back to Pissed Off Granger**

"Gra—Hermione, what are you doing?" I tried to act embarrassed that my girlfriend was kissing me in public. You know the look; usually it's mostly girls who are doing it, like when they don't want to be kissed in front of their parents. You get the, 'Sta-op!… my parents are right there' speech to go with it. Apparently, I don't pull that look off very well.

"Miss Granger, you might want to stop, you are attracting a crowd, and I don't think you want to ruin your image, do you?" Damn you! Go ahead, make her angrier, now not only is she going to ruin her image, she is going to take me down with her!

Since I'm going out, I might as well do it in style. I grabbed Granger's arse and squeezed it getting a squeal out of her, making everyone around us stop what they were doing if they hadn't already and look at us. I felt her hands snake around my neck trying to cover her bluff, I think… Doesn't matter, cause I was liking it, so I put my arms around her waist pulling her closer to me. I smiled inwardly, cause I had no quills or any long sticklike objects in my robes.

Out of nowhere, Granger whispered in a breathing break, "Thank you Draco." She said it so quietly that I think only I heard her, I had no idea what it meant, but I went with it.

"DRACO!" Oh dear Merlin… My mother has seen us…

Granger broke away from me wiping her lips with the back of her arm and blushing. I turned around to the general vicinity of where I heard my mother calling my name and saw her. A tall streak of blonde and black coming straight towards me like a flash of lightning.

"Oh Hermione! I'm so happy! You finally turned my son around. Never would he kiss a girl of muggle descent in front of hundreds of reporters and important people. Thank you so much! You've really turned my Draco around." My mother was in tears by the end of her little speech.

"Mum…" I said putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Not now Draco, I'm having a bonding moment with Hermione." At the mention of bonding, I looked over at Granger and saw her getting the air squeezed out of her and pleading for help.

"Mother."

"Draco, did you not hear me? I'm having a-"

"Mother, Hermione and I have something important to tell you." My mother assuming the obvious released her death grip on Granger.

Smiling insanely, my mother asked, "So what is it that you needed to tell me?" Her smile growing unnaturally larger with each moment that passed by.

"We would like to tell you in the hall." No two seconds after I said that, the ballroom erupted into loud whispers. I think my father is about to faint.

When we got out into the hall, my mother practically attacked us with questions.

"Are you pregnant Hermione? Draco you pig! You'll be taking full responsibility!" I shook my head at her and watched Granger's face of complete disgust.

She furrowed her brows in thought, "Hmm, well no, I suppose you aren't pregnant, you are much more responsible than my Draco here, and have a lot more dignity. Hmm… No! That's impossible!" Her eyes opened in shock.

"What Mrs. Malfoy?" My mum being the mother she is, pulled Granger into another huge, suffocating hug.

"I'm so happy! My little boy has a future with someone absolutely amazing." Now I wasn't really paying much attention until she said that. I was completely offended! I have a future without Granger in it!

"Mum, what the devil are you talking about?" She let go of Hermione to look at me properly.

"I'm talking about your engagement, of course." Whoa! Hold the owls! Who the fuck said we were getting married?

"Mum, we aren't-"

"Oh Rita! Have you heard my son's great news?" My mother turned around and asked the reporter right behind us. It looks as if she followed us out into the hall to try to get some goods on us. Since she could no longer turn into her animagus form of a nasty little beetle, she wasn't as discreet as she used to be, not that I mind a bit. I could never tell her animagus form from a normal beetle. For the past three years I've been watching my back, feet, clothing, and hair for bugs, until Granger told me about Rita when she found me searching everything before I would talk to her… Now that I know, I don't quite feel as paranoid as I used to be.

"No, no I haven't, but do tell me about it." She looked at my mother greedily. Within four seconds, the woman had her quick quill out, interviewing my mother…

**Back to Present Time**

Now, I bet y you're all wondering what is taking so long for me to get to my point. Well let me explain, I stopped my story here because you need to know that I am absolutely not marrying Granger, the thought repulses me. The only reason we said there was something important, was to get her to release her death grip on Granger. Also, to get away from all those reporters. Most unfortunately, that plan blew up in our faces badly. We will be healing from the blast for another thirty years. Now, back to the story.

**A Very Happy Rita**

Rita much to my horror ended up with over ten meters of parchment form just my mother's interview. She wanted to interview Granger, but my father stepped in and wouldn't allow it. Thank Merlin. What I didn't realize however, was that Rita persuaded him into an interview. How in the world she accomplished that, is beyond me.

"So, the question we all have on our minds. Mr. Malfoy, how in the _world_ did you get out of Azkaban?" Hah, would love to see the old man get himself out of that one.

My father, being the man he is, gave such an Oprah talk show answer that I was amazed. "Now that is a good question Rita. The new guards of Azkaban felt that I was behaving quite well," What kind of bullock is that! When I went to see him, he was going off the walls screaming how he was going to tell his father about everything that the guards were doing to him and that they would loose their jobs. (Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, eh?) "So, they held a meeting and agreed that I should be let out on good behavior."

"Really?" Rita leaned in, incredibly fascinated. "They didn't even consider your previous background?" She just over stepped her boundary. It must be something in the punch, everyone seems to be doing it right now.

**Back to Present Time**

I don't quite remember the outcome because of what my mother and I were discussing. Nevertheless, we are getting much, much closer to why I believe men should never insult chicks. I would tell you why, but you ought to see for yourself. A hint? You ask for a hint? It would be quite nice of me to give you a hint, wouldn't it? Too bad I'm not nice huh?

**Back to I Don't Really Know How Long Ago it Was Anymore!**

"Mother, may I see you somewhere private, where nobody will hear us." I asked my mom grabbing her arm and pulling her along with me, not giving her a choice really.

"Alright, but you don't need to be so awful about it! Just… let me grab Hermione, she should know where we are going." Is there a conspiracy against me or something? Jeez!

"No, mother we don't have time"

She smacked me over the head and said something along the lines of you always have time for a lady. Since when she started believing that Granger is a lady, I'm not sure. Maybe it's the way she looks tonight; my mother did choose the outfit she is wearing. I told her about the horrendous clothing taste Granger has and she did a bunch of shopping, the girl now has enough clothes to last her until graduation. Well, by my standards she does, in Granger's exact words she had "Enough clothes to last me until I die." But we all don't believe that, right? That's right.

My mother finally reached Granger, on the other side of the room. I want to know how she got over that far, she just left us a few minutes ago… No, wait she didn't. I forgot she left about twenty minutes into Rita's interview of my mother. She was over talking to… Mr. Weasley? The Weasel's father? Why would she want to talk to him? I guess we will find out, mother is interrupting their conversation now.

"Mr. Weasley! How lovely to see you again! How long has it been? I daresay at least three years. The Quidditch Championship right? Top Box? Yes, yes I thought so." He just kind of nodded his head; it looks like he's had experience with women like my mother, who talk incessantly. After going on about how she just loves how Granger and I got together and what a _great_ influence she will be on me and how she hopes the Boy Wonder and Weasel will grow to like me just as much as they seem to like Granger, she seemed to get to her point of interrupting them. "Now Charles is it?"

"No, it's-"

"The real reason I came over was to steal Hermione away for a bit. I do hope you don't mind much." The look on Mr. Weasley's face was great, obviously neither George or Ron told him what was going on. It's too bad Granger interrupted my fun.

"Mister Weasley, I will explain everything to you when I get the chance. I thought George may have told you already, but he obviously kept his promise to me. You raised a great young man. However I do need to go. Tell everyone I said hi, tell Mrs. Weasley that anything she hears about Harry and I _is not _true, and that I would love to still get some fudge from her… and… and…" She looked down almost unable to say whatever it is she wanted to say, "Tell George I do still love him and miss him. Also, wish him luck on the new line of jokes he is launching this week."

Mr. Weasley smiled kindly almost like he understood the pain she was going through, "Of course Hermione, but it looks like you have a family of Malfoys waiting for you, best not keep them waiting." He smiled warmly at my mother and I, the first person to do so all night. Kind of strange really, the one and only pureblood family I look down upon and mock, still has enough dignity to look at me with respect. I almost respect him for that, almost. His freak son George has to go and ruin it by still having Granger's complete attention.

"Yes Hermione, don't keep us waiting. I've got plans." She shot me a look of disgust but covered it up quickly with glee when she saw my mother slap me across the face.

"Draco Malfoy! Don't you dare speak to her like that! If I ever hear you talk to her again with that tone of voice I will personally take away every bit of inheritance money you will get and give it to muggle charities!" -Gulp- T-th-that would be… horrible, awful, degrading, unfair, doesn't she love me?

"Mother, you wouldn't?" Oh mommy…

"You can bet your life that I will." Oh someone fuck me!

"Fine, fine, you won't ever hear me talk to her like that again." But when we get back to Hogwarts, it's a totally different game.

We finally made it out into the hallway, and I could finally talk to my mother without interruptions.

"So, what is it that you needed to tell me dear?"

"The mudblood and I are absolutely not getting married." That was it, she blew a fuse, head gasket, and… many other things.

"And Why The Hell NOT?" She was pacing furiously back and forth. Granger and I just stared at her, watching her move from one side of the hall to the other.

"Because… we aren't. It's wrong, immoral, and… everything else bad!" I don't think that made her very happy, but oh well.

"Hermione, tell me, do you find it wrong and immoral?" She turned on Granger, and all she could do was whimper in fear. My mother was going crazy, her hair became disheved and her eyes seemed to look red to me.

"Well, yes ma'am I do… Malfoy and I just were not made for each other, he thinks I'm a low life mudblood Gryffindor."

"Well you are!"

SMACK!

**Back to Present Time**

Well there you go folks, the first of two smacks have gotten me, now I believe you ought to stick around and wait for the second one. Wait, you are going too? Sadistic bastards.

**Right After I Got Smacked**

"OUCH! What in bloody hell was that for? I didn't deserve that at all."

"Yes Draco Malfoy you did, didn't I tell you not to talk about her like that?" …so…?

"Mrs. Malfoy it's alright, I would rather him call me mudblood than Hermione. It's so much less personal. Besides, he does it all the time in school, it's weird when he calls me by my given name."

"He does what!" My mother turned around to look at me again, "How dare you call her mudblood, after everything she's done for you! I would smack you again, but I think I'm going to give Hermione the pleasure of doing it."

"No, no, Mrs. Malfoy, I couldn't do that. I don't like hitting, I think it's wrong." Ahhh! You don't tell my mother no! What in the world is bloody wrong with you?

"You either do it or I tell Headmaster Dumbledore that you cheated on your O.W.L.S in the fifth year." That scared Granger out of her bloody wits. She moved right in front of me and raised her hand while mouthing what looked to me like 'sorry'. She gave me a very pained look and with all her might smacked me.

"Owe! Granger, what did you need to hit that hard for? She wouldn't have cared if you lightly tapped me on the cheek!" I don't think I need to tell you, how much it hurt. My mother didn't even smack me that hard.

**Back to Present Time**

"Draco, you know I didn't mean to hit you _that_ hard, right?" Don't even start with me Granger… "Don't give me that look, you know I had no choice!" You had a choice, you just chose the wrong one!

"Yah, right. Just leave me alone."

"I-I can't Draco." Draco and can't? What the hell…

"What do you mean you can't and why did you use my name? I know I let it slip a lot and let you get away with calling me Malfoy, but never do I want you to use my real name."

"Because Draco," She got moved from the spot she was kneeling on and started crawling towards me seductively. When she finally reached me she moved her hands up my legs with her body following until she had herself placed between my legs.

"I…" She started crawling up my body, her lips coming near my neck, nibbling on my ear, "Love…"

She didn't just say that, did she? Oh Holy Hannah, she is now trailing her fingers across my neck and down my Adams apple to the hollow of my throat, once she reached the first button on my silk shirt, she unbuttoned it, kissing down my chest seductively.

"You…" She had unbuttoned my shirt entirely and was now focusing on my clearly shaped and defined abs. Kissing them and licking, even a bit of biting.

"G-granger, don't you think we should… umm… yah know, talk about this?" She looked straight into my eyes, and within a second, she ripped my pants open and forcing the zipper down.

"Why Draco, afraid of a bit of action? Afraid you might like what a mudblood can do?" She was forcing my pants down my body, me, being the hormonal driven male that I am helped her. But she slapped my hand back.

"No Draco, I want to do this all by _myself_." Fine by me…

Her short nimble digits were fingering the hole in my boxers, unbuttoning the button. She was bringing her mouth down near Him, He was almost twitching in anticipation.

She abruptly stood up and started walking away.

"What the fuck Granger, why did you do that? Don't you love me?"

She turned around quickly and smirked the smirk I know all to well, it was my smirk, and said, "April Fools, Malfoy, April Fools."

I looked over to the calendar and saw that it was March 31, what was she talking about? But then I looked over at the clock and saw that it was currently 12:07 AM, it was April 1st.

**AHH! Sorry it took me soooo unbelieveably long guys! I planned on writing this fic on the way to North Carolina and back while I was on February break, but alas I had no muse, I hated being broken up with my boyfriend, life totally sucked for me, I just plain wasn't in the mood. And then I got back home and I got my laptop! So then, I of course didn't think I had the time cause I was too busy playing on my laptop, and then OVA came up, Olympics of the Visual Arts, what it is basically is schools from ALL over New York State competing against one another in art type stuff, I was in Fashion Design, and we got second place, we didn't even think we were goinng to place... we were competing agianst 17 other high schools, but 27 schools had entered! But anywho! Now school has piled up unbelieveably, I had break over Good Friday and Easter, but my teachers felt that since we were having a 4 day weekend, we could handle all of the work, wrongo! I had no time, between working stuff out with my ex, working on the ball gown for OVA (was supposed to be made out of paper) and then going to my mom's Easter dinner, and then back to my dads, I had no time, and then I missed Tuesday for the actual OVA competition, and last night as I was finishing this up, I was told my grandmother is in the hospital, and they can't figure out what is wrong with her so they are transfering her to another hospital... ANYWHO!**

**Onto the personal thank yous to my loooovely reviewers!**

**JadeCowan2: I'm so sorry you were confused! I thought it was easier to tell them apart... but I guess not! I'm so sorry!**

**Black Rose Black Heart: Holy crow, I believe I've confused every one of my reviewers!**

**Alenor: Yah, I hope thhey are published also! Oh wait.. what am I saying? I can control the story...**

**Jesska-14: Yes he can be an ass! But I wouldn't have him any other way :)  
**

**Lucifer's Lair: I'm glad you liked it.**

**CrystalMidnightRose: I loved that poem, it was so sweet. My ex and I have worked stuff out, and we are like, best friends now. Always talking and stuff, but now it's hard... cause how do you get over someone you see and end up loving more each time you see them? Anyhow, I'm sorry I confused you! Everyone seems confused!**

**SugarnSpice522: Yah, the mall was fun... **

**MagicalWishes25: Sorry I didn't get anything about Blaise in this chapter, but I think I'm gonna add him to the Epilogue! I also hope you don't mind me telling everyone to read your story...**

**Fiona McKinnon: Yah, Malfoy can be a prat and Skyler is an awesome name too! I've got a cousin with that name...**

**Applola Snipp: I'm so glad you liked it! I hope you keep reading:)**


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